I've heard plenty of people react with confusion, or outright scorn, when they hear that "have an emergency supply of food on hand" is advice for a pandemic ...

I've been seeing comments around the blogosphere to the effect of "it's a mild flu" and "only 150 out of a population of 110,000,000" are dead in Mexico. I thought I'd do some analysis on the reported swine flu numbers regarding what they might be showing ...

1) Influenza is airborne ...

Pandemic flu got you down? We're here to help ...

You know that crazy neighbor, the one with turrets and razor wire on his estate, five big pitbulls, a basement full of beans and rice, and suspiciously frequent deliveries from Artillery'R'Us? You always thought he was nuts, when he talked about flu being a scenario to end the world (in between his long rambles about conspiracy theories involving black helicopters and wacky liberals), but OMG, according to the media, swine flu's breaking out all over and it sounds just as improbable as if the announcement was that the zombies are coming! ...

I told you they were coming ...

So the zombies have come and gone, and now you're the last person left alive in your city and you've got to grow your own groceries.

Or, more likely, you've walked through the produce section of your local grocery store and found that you'd need to take out a second mortgage to afford a bag of apples and a salad, and that tomatoes are $1.25 each. Growing your own vegetables is looking like a real, practical, solution to cutting down your food bill. But the closest thing to farming you've ever done is growing a tomato plant in a pot on your porch. And it died ... 

My personal theory for the current economic woes of the world is that zombies were somehow involved. I'm still trying to figure out if the zombies were the home buyers or the bankers -- or possibly both -- but zombies screwing things up is my explanation and I'm sticking to it. Because, clearly, somebody's brains got eaten ...

The population surge and you ...

The rain in Spain falls mainly on the ... BRAINS! BRAINS!