"I'm gonna kill you."  "Not if I eat you first."  This actual dialogue exchange, not meant ironically, should give you a sense of the level of writing in this time-waster.  If not, here are some additional quotes:

After learning that a slasher has struck:  "Who? Who would have done something like that?"  Subsequently explaining why one character is not a suspect:  "She couldn't hurt a fly."

Delivering some profound exposition:  "The American dream became the American nightmare."

On dealing with an ailing comrade:  "I'm not a doctor, but he's got some holes in his stomach.

"

The Horrorfest audience was laughing and groaning and calling out holes in story logic throughout the screening of Tooth and Nail.  Many people just upped and left the theater.  I was sorely tempted to follow them, but decided to stick it out so I could more confidently deliver this warning to you, dear reader:  save your money and encourage your friends to do likewise.

If you want to experience a briefer, more amusing version of Tooth and Nail, turn on the TV and wait for one of those credit card commercials that feature barbarians on the loose in the modern world.  Except those barbarians are a lot more articulate—and believable— than the bad guys in this film.