You know you're in for an experience. Usually though, I expect that experience to be akin to a dentist's visit without Novocain. Not this time.

 

Given the fact that in seasons past, Clark and Lana romance scenes sent me diving for a hypodermic full of insulin, I should be disturbed by how not-freaked out I am with their relationship this season. This isn't to say I didn't roll my eyes the minute I saw those horses. I did. In fact, I rolled them so hard; I can safely say there is a lecture from my optometrist in my future.

 

It was not, however, followed up by the typical "Why, God, why?" pleading that used to follow. I even laughed at the super!sex wink-wink-nudge-nudge scenes. Though, Kristin, honey, your come-hither look needs work. If Tom Welling looked at me like that --

 

Speaking of looks, dear Clark, if women get x-ray vision it's not your vertebrae we're going to be looking at. I'm just sayin', okay?

 

…

 

Where was I? Oh, right, the review. Writing it. I'm getting to that! Promise.

 

I actually loved the fact they revisited that lightning-induced power transfer and they get points for the fact that Chloe reminded Clark about it. In a lot of ways, they did a better job with it this time around than the first time. Lana is a character we have reason to be invested in (I wouldn't have said this last year, so yay Smallville and Kristin for changing that) and watching her grapple with a sudden infusing of Kryptonian abilities was genuinely interesting.

 

Whether Smallville fell into Lana's character arc by accident, or they were headed here all along, it is turning out to be one of the most fascinating parts of Season Seven. By giving her Clark's powers in this episode, they effectively removed any reason for Lana to hide the darker aspects of her nature. She said it herself when told Chloe, no one can really stop her. She had no reason to hide all the things you and I keep back every day. The things we want to say or do, but don't. It highlights one of the big conflicts about being Clark (and now Kara) that doesn't really get a lot of respect. The fact that, for the most part, they can do whatever they want. Humanity really couldn't do much to oppose them if they really wanted to take control.

 

Remember the age old debate, who would win in a fight? Superman or Batman? Sure, Batman would cheat and use Kryptonite. But Kryptonite's not much use if Superman decides to drop the Empire State Building on your head.

 

Smallville's treatment of the issue is clunky at the best of times. Clark can come off as a stiff, overly moralistic jerk at times. Occasionally, however, they do get it right.

They got it in the vicinity of right with Wrath. Not on the nose. This episode isn't perfect, but they got in the vicinity of it and for Smallville? That's worth cracking open the champagne for.

 

As much as I want to criticize Smallville for Lana's uncontrolled spiral, it actually makes sense when put up against her characterization. When Lex speaks of her obsession with him in this episode, he's not that far from the truth. She isn't nearly as finished with him as she believes, but she's also finally caught up in the web of her own darker nature. Lana's been put on a pedestal by the entire town of Smallville since she was three years old. We've seen what happens in the real world when someone becomes so objectified. We only need to look at the recent parade of Hollywood starlets gone wrong for prime examples.

 

This is Smallville, so naturally when that happens; superpowers of some sort are going to be involved. Unlike Smallville of seasons past, however, we're left with the impression that all is not forgotten. Never the masters of subtlety, the "Danger, Clark Kent, danger!" signs are flashing loud and clear.

He's going to miss them, of course. One of Clark's biggest strengths, and biggest weaknesses, is his belief in people. This is the guy who's still going to be trying to save Lex years from now, even when Lex is trying to kill him. It's always going to be a double-edged sword for Clark and we know we're going to watch him fall victim to it over and over again. You almost want to warn him, except that would ruin the fun.

 

As I said, Smallville isn't much for subtle. Whatever's brewing between Chloe and Lana (other than sending the Chloe/Lana shippers into fits of glee), is going to be interesting. Their scenes over the past few episodes have been frothy with all sorts of subtexty bits. Colour me intrigued.

 

The only place this episode really lost momentum was in the Lois scenes. Smallville, it's not a good sign when Lois Lane drags down your plot. That's been a problem for the series for a while now. If Smallville's smart, they'll use the strike time to figure out a way to fix this.

Failing that, Al and Miles need to go begging at Justin Hartley's door. The Green Arrow arc was the best storyline Lois has had in three years. Al? Miles? She's Lois Lane. When her best storyline is about someone else? That's really not good.  

 

Fix this, boys.

 

No, I haven't forgotten the "OMG! Brainiac!" factor of this episode. I did glee at the idea of Brainiac locked up in a jar. He must be ticked. However, Smallville, the black oil body-snatching plot?

 

It's been seven years, can you stop ripping off the X-Files now?