The popular image of a science fiction convention is less than flattering. One pictures a massive convention center teeming with life provided solely by people defined as those who have no life. An unending procession of geeks, dorks, nerds, wonks, weenies and other kids who got picked last in gym, ranging in ages from thirteen to forty (and yet all still live with their mothers), dressed in such chick-magnet attire as extra-large "Batman" t-shirts and homemade "Star Trek" outfits. Girls dressed as alien slaves or busty anime chicks are sprinkled in and worshipped, though 90% of them are being paid to be there by whatever the hell they're advertising. B-list celebrities sign your crap for a C-note. Inevitably, a trivia contest ensues, and while one man may win, he is indeed still a loser.
This is an unfair, incomplete and inaccurate portrayal of a sci-fi convention. To be specific, sometimes they take place in hotels.
All jokes aside, you may have had a certain reaction to the above description. Perhaps you are able to look past the silliness and absurdity, and realize that a sci-fi con is just a great way for regular folks to cut loose and indulge themselves in a fun, harmless hobby and meet friends with similar interests. Or perhaps you say to yourself in a quiet voice, "These are interesting people," and resolve to venture forth like Odysseus (or perhaps Ozymandias) and see what it's like at the sort of event you wouldn't consider your cup of tea, but makes a nice sociological experience. Or perhaps you're just really desperate to meet Mark Hamill.
Whatever the case, sci-fi conventions (or "cons," which some linguists theorize must have been an obscure Latin term for "virgin") are fun. No lie. It's like Halloween, a trip to the shopping mall, a fraternity mixer and a movie night with friends all cobbled together like a marginally freakier Frankenstein. But as a first-time con-goer, you might be overwhelmed. How can you take it all in? How will you know what's worth seeing? How can you make the most of your day? Whether you're there to discuss Sigourney Weaver in "Alien" or just act like Sigourney Weaver in "Gorillas in the Mist", here's a helpful guide to making the most of your very first science fiction convention.
There is something about waiting in line that attracts the science fiction fan. Whether they're queuing up for the latest "Star Wars" three weeks after shooting starts, or placing reservations on new video games so they can be the first people to play another damn first-person shooter, if there is a line to be stood in, it will be rewarded with diligent attention. Sci-fi people have meticulous, organized, mathematical minds, and the quiet logic appeals to them.
With that said, this means you've got to get where you're going early. The more popular an event, the more likely it is that it's going to fill. That goes double if they're giving anything away.
Curiously enough, a sci-fi convention is the one place in town where there's rarely a line at the women's restroom.
A sci-fi con is one of the few places where you can talk to big-shot actors, directors and Hollywood executives like they're your friends from down the street. Be sure to go to a panel or a signing and say hi, if only to say you did. This isn't the stodgy or trite atmosphere of a traditional press junket; if you're lucky, a pro will make a joke questioning your own personal sexual orientation in front of four hundred people.
People genuinely do make an effort to make the panels a good experience, and indeed movie studios and TV production companies put on special events to promote the next steaming pile of crap, complete with custom-made presentations and trailers specifically designed to give the all-important chess club demographic a feeling of being exclusively marketed to. If an upcoming film is based on a comic book, you will hear no less than fifty-three times some variant of the old line, "We're going to update some things, but still leave the heart of the story intact and respect the character and its fans and not inspire comic nerd rage." This friendly and amiable statement is nothing but unfettered lies and you should begin preparing scathing Internet posts at your earliest convenience.
Of course all these panels have limited seating space -- refer to the point about lines -- and you're not going to have the chance to take in everything. But make the most of your line, and talk to people while you wait. You clearly have something in common, because you're both going to the same panel. Unless he's just confused and waiting for the restroom.
Yes, you too can own an autographed photo of a guy who was on three episodes of "Babylon 5" for a mere $25. Similarly fair prices exist for bootleg DVDs of unsubtitled anime that cost a guy two bucks to burn. Suck it up. The "in for a nickel" rule applies here. Remember, you're not paying for the item; you're paying for the memories.
But while things may not be cheap, they can be free. 'Swag' is a valued commodity; big corporations cheerfully hand out promotional merchandise in order to turn everyone in sight into a walking advertisement. He who dies with the most swag wins, and what's left over generally turns a tidy profit on eBay. Sometimes 'swag' is also used as a term for purchased merchandise, but that's hardly as fun.
The comic stands are generally worth a visit-not the booths promoting the new stuff, necessarily, but the many, many long boxes of ancient, tattered comics from your father's time. Snag a few 1960s comics for a fun read on the way home, they're even sillier than you think. Remember, you're here to find stuff that's otherwise hard to find, not just to visit a larger version of your local comics shop.
Occasionally, a con will set up a little room where they'll just throw on movies or TV shows to watch. Or they'll get real organized and have screenings. Now, if you have a chance to see a 35mm film print of "Blade Runner," or original sci-fi films from the festival circuit, then pencil it in. If they've just decided to throw the "Firefly" DVD set into a player and set it on repeat, you can probably give it a miss.
You may be tempted to hit up "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" if they're doing it with a performing cast. But stop to think. You came to a convention to experience con-specific things. "Rocky Horror" has been going on every Saturday night since the seventies. Chances are you stood behind your local Dr. Frank-N-Furter in the line to meet the little dude who was inside R2-D2.
Be sure to check out the locals in nifty costumes. Don't be afraid to tell someone if you like their outfit; you don't show up in public dressed like Wolverine with the intent not to be noticed. (Of course, if you encounter someone in the guise of Mystique, they are clearly trying to be invisible, and making eye contact will only hurt their feelings.)
Your correspondent, it should be noted, has a Ghostbuster outfit complete with a proton pack that lights up, and as a result gets stopped for photographs like he's Mickey Mouse at Disney World. It's fun, don't worry.
If there's a costume contest, it's worth being in attendance, because the amount of creativity and work that goes into some of these things is truly amazing, and generally there's some cute girls with nice abs, too.
Incidentally, the sweet young thing in the Princess Leia bikini has heard it all before, and she's probably here with her boyfriend anyway. Just sayin'.
In for a nickel, like we said. Get into the spirit of it, you'll feel like a kid again. This is one of those things that's hard to explain until you're actually there.
Costumes come in three varieties. The first is the "badass", which is judged on accuracy and how cool a character is to begin with; guys with big budgets, muscles or weapons do well here. The second is "creative", where points for originality and humor are the key-even if you just pick a character that no one tends to dress up as, or even better, incorporate some sort of horrid pun. The third is "sexy", and if you're reading this article, you probably shouldn't try it.
The point of a sci-fi con is to be among those guys, to say, "Me too," to realize, "These are my guys." Weeping is optional.
It is easy to joke, but the point is that a science fiction convention is a wonderful place to learn new things, meet interesting people and in general get the most out of an exciting and rewarding hobby. It gives fans a chance to share their passions and interests and creativity in a safe social space where they can be applauded rather than ridiculed. In general, it's just a wonderful way to spend a day.