This week, we turn our attention to that most desired of living options: rooming with your fellow fen. Say you're living at home, or at school. You spend all your time online trying to find people to chat with about your latest squee. You write about it. You dream about it. You are a fan. Alas, you are most likely not surrounded by fellow fans, but instead by mundanes: those poor, deluded folks who think reality shows are more interesting than the Winchester brothers and that Friends is superior to Battlestar Galactica. We pity these people, but many of us have had to live with them during our lives. (They're often named "Mom" and "Dad," though not for everyone, fortunately – Dr. Merlin was raised by a mother who wrote Man From U.N.C.L.E. fanfics longhand and a father who told her Star Wars stories at bedtime.)

But lo! On the horizon, something sparks. You get the golden opportunity, the one you've secretly wished for ever since you stole your brother's He-Man figures so you could act out Adam and Teela's wedding (and later, Adam and Skeletor's wedding). You, little fanthing, are moving in with someone who is just as geeky as you are.

Fantopia is the dream: living with someone who understands that We Do Not Talk Between Commercials, who knows firsthand that writing fanfic is a vital part of one's mental health, who groks your take on Kirk/Spock. Congratulations. You have arrived.

I have been privileged to witness many a fantopia, and even live in a few during my time. I have also seen them shatter apart, many times over frictions that could have been prevented. This guide is intended as a helpful point of reference for avoiding many of the major pitfalls of cohabitation among fans. It is not an end-all essay; please feel free to share your own tips in the comments below.

First, and I cannot stress this enough, set up your own spaces. Sharing the squee is great, but there are times when you and your roommie will need alone time to decompress. Set your boundaries early, and make sure you agree on them. A good rule is the rule of rooms: this is my bedroom and this is your bedroom, please do not enter without me there except under circumstances (list as needed). Many fans come into roommate situations with boundary issues in their pasts, and starting out with good limits will help when the inevitable frictions rear their heads anyway.

Once you have set your private spaces, you must set your expectations on cleaning. Seriously. You probably want to divide the housework along the lines that you are capable of doing it. For example, if you would rather walk over broken glass than vacuum, say so up front. There may be another household chore that your roommate despises equally. (In my home, I do the yardwork while Mr. Merlin does the vacuuming.) Remember that if you do not keep up with your part of the cleaning, your roommate will resent it, and that leads to bad situations. Also remember that no one likes roaches. At a minimum, make sure your kitchen area is free of bug-attractors like crumbs and dirty dishes. An unvacuumed carpet is a pain; an ant invasion is grounds for mutiny.

Related to this, define up front all the care that will be undertaken for your pets.

The average fantopia consists of two women in their late twenties/early thirties with at least two cats. Someone will have to clean out the litterbox. Establish a means to ensure that this occurs on a regular basis, or not only will you cause conflict with your roommate, you may lose your home. (True story: A friend of mine had a roommate whose pets peed and pooped on the hardwood floor for three months without the roommate cleaning up after them, and the roommate was shocked when the landlords finally evicted her.) Clean up after your pets, or find them a home with someone who will.

To sum up the above: your roommate is not your mom. (*cough* *waves to friend reading this whose roommate actually is her mom* You know what I mean, dear.) Do not expect her to clean up after you or your pets. If you can't clean up on your own, hire a cleaning service. If you can't afford that OR clean up on your own, move back home and trying living on your own again when you've learned.

Close to this: your roommate is not your best friend. At least, typically your roommate will not be your best friend, especially if you're moving in together as a result of a shared fannish interest. I know, I know. You're excited that you're finally living with someone who gets you. However, back to the boundaries thing, your roommate likely already has friends of her own. While they might eventually be your friends too, she'll want to spend time with them that doesn't include you. Sure, you can ask to go along, but don't take a "no" as a rebuff; think of it as recharging time for yourself. Take time to cultivate friendships away from your roommate too. You're two separate people, and you're allowed--indeed encouraged-- to spend time on different things.

Speaking of which, your squee might not be your roommate's squee. While you both might enjoy LOTR RPS, she might be more of a Viggorli person, while you're mad about Domlijah. And that's okay. Everyone has their squee. You can celebrate your roommate's squee without being obligated to share it. That goes in reverse, too. Just because you believe in your heart of hearts that Harry should marry Hermione (for reasons you will happily go into in detail) does not mean you should try to convert your roommate away from her Harry/Sirius fixation. Celebrate the fact that you both thought the last book sucked dead donkey, and leave it there. 'Shipwars should not come home with you.

One of the big things you need to know every early on in any fantopia is your roommie's policy on spoilers. You don't want to be avoiding every mention of the season finale of your favorite show, only for your roommate to flounce into your room fresh from torrenting the UK feed and announce: "The butler did it! OMG!" (This is considered justifiable grounds for homicide in many fannish circles.) If it pains you to sit on spoilers, go online and share as loud and as long as you can, but don't ruin it for the person you're living with, and know well in advance what will and won't ruin someone's experience.

Have multiple televisions. Really. No matter how close your and your roommate are in viewing habits, there will be times when you want to rewatch two characters in a scene together fifteen times in a row, while your roommate is sitting beside you ready to spork out her own eyes. Plus, you'll want the setup to make sure you get everything on your DVR.

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