Have you seen "Spider-Man 3?"  No?  Go out right now and see it.  I'll wait.

Go on.

*twiddles thumbs*

Oh, there you are.  Wasn't that fab?  I went with my friend Jordan this afternoon, and I highly recommend having a Jordan of your very own to take with you to the movie theatre.  Jordans do not talk during the movie, but can make bad Tom Stoppard jokes during the commercials at the beginning, and are thus very beneficial as viewing buddies.

Much like good friends,  the returning cast turned out to be welcome sights, familiar enough in their roles that they step into those shoes without a problem.  Tobey Maguire is Peter, Kirsten Dunst is Mary Jane.  J.K. Simmons was born to play J. Jonah Jameson.  Rosemary Harris' Aunt May is as sweet (and dippy) as she needs to be.  I haven't seen "Spider-Man 2" since it left the theatres, but a few minutes with these characters and it all came back.  More, in the earlier installments, I never quite bought James Franco's performance; here, he was dead on.  The interplay between the characters felt real.  Peter's conversations with Aunt May struck the right emotional chords: this is the woman who raised him, even if she's old enough to be his grandmother.  Peter and MJ's relationship woes (she tells him her fears and wants support; he tries to fix the problems instead) echo the realities of a lot of couples.  As for the complexities of the relationships among Peter, MJ and Harry, well, if there's not a boatload of OT3 fanfics posted after this one, I will be sorely disappointed with the world.  (And really, someone needs to make a "Brokeback" trailer too.  There's too much material not to.)  Bonus: there isn't a neat bow to Peter and MJ's troubles.

The new cast works as well as they should.  Thomas Hayden Church brings off the emotional weight to his role as a desperate father who made the wrong choices in life.  (More on that later.)  Most unintentionally funny bit: "Danger: Particle Physics Test Site."  Friend Jordan and I have a passing familiarity with particle physics, and wow.  (To be fair, we were the only ones laughing in the theatre.)  At least they weren't trying to extinguish a sun in the Hudson River this time.  And can we please once and for all stop finding one character, calling him/her a scientist, and making said character the fountain of knowledge for all things expository?  One "I'm not a biologist" from the physics professor does not excuse continuing to perform biological studies instead of, I don't know, asking someone else.  On the less twitch-inducing side, the writers try to pull a "Harry Potter" and teach some science near the beginning that comes in useful later. 

The scene where Sandman first transforms is a fantastically-rendered sequence, with touches of the ascent of Man.  This is good, since the rest of the Sandman effects are more B-movie (pretty B-movie, and yet).  Short form: if you've seen "The Mummy," you've seen this effect.  But it's nice to look at while the plot happens.  The plot is ...   Well …

There are three plots, and at times it felt like I was watching three different movies.  They were three interesting movies, and they did manage to intersect by the end, but the jumping-off points sometimes felt too quick.  First, it's a story about Peter and Mary Jane's lives.  Then it's a vengeance flick.  And then Peter gives into the temptations of his dark side (enabled by venom goo) and goes disco.  Meanwhile, Harry Osborne pops in and out of Amnesiaville, tries to play Machiavelli, and ends up completing his character arc over the three films with a surprisingly touching redemption.  (Nice touch: the scars on his face make him look a bit like Dear Departed Dad Willem Dafoe.) 

In case you don't figure out the theme, Maguire lets us all know in a voiceover at the end: choices make the hero.  The Eddie Brock third of the plot works precisely because of this theme.  Eddie looks a little like Peter, is trying to take Peter's job, dates the same girl as Peter (sort of), and when presented with the same chance at power that Peter takes and then discards, Eddie accepts it gladly, and clings to it.  Eddie is a little man who wants power and respect and ends up choosing destruction.  Considering the chain of coincidences that go into creating the character, it's a welcome balance.

The theme doesn't work quite so well with Sandman.  Flint Marko tells his wife that he's just a victim of bad luck, and the circumstances of his creation, even of his retconned relationship to Peter, bear that out.  He has made bad choices, but he didn't necessarily have better options.  Thus, while his character's resolution works overall, the storytelling surrounding him isn't as satisfying with regards to Marko, though it does help complete Peter's character arc in the film.

The action scenes are heart-stopping, full of movement and rich with detail.  Normally I snooze during fight scenes, but these were enough to keep me stuck to the screen.  Raimi and his team have really nailed how to websling on a big scale, and while the Sandman effects were mostly standard, the fights between Peter and Harry, and then Peter and Eddie, looked gorgeous, and were definitely worthy translations of the printed page.

Stan Lee of course made his cameo.  Bruce Campbell's cameo as a French maître d' should not be half so sweet.  And when Ted Raimi poked his head in, friend Jordan was heard to sing under his breath: "He's Joxer the Ad Man, he does the Marketing … "  Much like the previews for "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" that preceded the movie, sometimes you just have to revel in the non sequitur.

Overall, this film was a lot of fun to watch.  It wasn't perfect, and it wasn't going to be perfect, but I enjoyed the overall experience more than I did with the previous two installments.  Facing one's dark side always makes for good drama, and as written in giant neon letters as it was, pointing out that the choices people make are what make them the people they are is a great reminder in a superhero flick, especially one where the line between villain and hero can be so blurred.  This was definitely worth the price of admission, and if you still haven't gone to see it, find a matinee and go.  If you get nauseous from the Steady Cam shots, close your eyes and imagine what it would have been like had James Franco been cast as Anakin Skywalker instead of Hayden Christensen.