The Finals of Dancing With The Stars took place last night on November 23rd. Three couples danced three routines to win over the judges and the viewers. Each couple danced a regular routine, a freestyle dance and a group dance dubbed “The Megamix”. The Megamix had the couples switch from The Waltz to Samba to Jive during the group dance. They had to take the floor and perform simultaneously. The one that stood out the most got the highest score.

Thankfully there were only three couples to keep track of so that made it a lot easier to recap.

Kelly Osbourne & Louis van Amstel – First up was Kelly & Louis. During rehearsals for their Argentine Tango the duo received a visit from DWTS judge, Carrie Ann Inaba. Carrie Ann coached Kelly on the finer points of looking believably sexy while dancing with her male partner. My favorite line from that practice session was Carrie Ann saying “Smell him. Smell Louis. Doesn’t he smell good?” You know I was taking notes.

All jokes aside the pointers proved pivotal because Kelly, excuse me, Lady Osbourne looked fantastic. No giggling, no awkwardness, and no sweat. The foot action was superb. Kelly was flinging her feet around with such breathtaking precision and wrapping her legs around Louis like a boa constrictor hugs a tree branch.

The Megamix was a little bit of a tumble downhill. The Waltz was great, the Samba was okay and the Jive was a little hairy. Louis had a little trouble ripping off Kelly’s waltz frock but they overcame that snag just fine. Kelly was afraid that she was going to look a mess next to Donny Osmond and Mya and I have to admit that when all of them were together Kelly seemed to struggle the most with the routine, wardrobe malfunction notwithstanding. It was still a decent go-at-it and it showed how far she’s really come since the first episode.

Kelly & Louis’ glittering freestyle was a salute to disco as well as an affirmation of how remarkably far Kelly has come since the first episode. Looking back on some of her past dances Kelly was just as amazed that she made the finals as everyone else. And now she was proving that she was more than an underdog. There were some noticeable errors but the freestyle was full of joy and fearlessness.

The Judges Say: Basically what they’ve been saying all along. They admire that she has pushed through the competition and stuck with the dancing even when things looked bleak. They loved her Argentine Tango. They really liked her Waltz in the Megamix (though noticeably didn’t say anything about her other two Megamix dances). And despite the errors the judges rated the freestyle as very entertaining and a delight to watch. Bruno was so moved by the freestyle that he was having flashbacks to the heydays of Studio 54.

Aubrey Says: I’ve seen her do the Argentine Tango in one of the group dances before and she looked great. Seeing her do a full Argentine Tango piece was sensational. She looked fantastic and moved liked a pro. The Megamix was kind of scary. She started out strong with the Waltz and then kinda slipped behind the Samba and the Jive. I was afraid she was going to break her neck trying to catch up to Mya and Donny.

Whether she wins the trophy or not I enjoyed watching Kelly Osbourne grow as a dancer from week to week. Unlike the Mya and Donny who had previous dance training Kelly didn’t have much of that so I believe she represents what DWTS is really supposed to be about; taking non-dancers and turning them into pros. I think Kelly Osbourne has graduated with flying colors. To paraphrase Gloria Gaynor’s disco hit, “Kelly did survive and triumph”.

Donny Osmond & Kym Johnson – As Donny & Kym looked back on their previous performances they were impressed about the stuff they have accomplished on DWTS. Week One was a little rocky but after that they have delivered some nifty dance numbers usually bolstered by Donny’s natural charm and showbiz pedigree. During their rehearsal for The Cha Cha DWTS judge, Bruno Tonioli, stopped over for a visit which quickly became an impromptu training session as Bruno whipped Donny (no, not literally) into Cha Cha shape.

The most memorable aspect of Donny & Kym’s Cha Cha was Donny’s hips. I never imagined that I would ever see this particular man shake and shimmy his lower hemisphere in such a mesmerizing and alluring way. Um, where is Bruno? I need to sign up for his hip shaking classes pronto!

Donny looked pretty decent in the Megamix. He was worried that his age would make him appear slower compared to the younger Mya and Kelly. Well, not even his age deterred him in the Megamix challenge. He and Kim went from dance to dance to dance just as well as the other competitors.

The freestyle was a return back to Donny’s stage roots with a “taps and tails” number that allowed Donny to put on the ritz and razzle dazzle the crowd one last time.

The Judges Say: Donny Osmond’s showmanship has been his strongest asset. Even when he stumbles he is able to smile through it and the audience smiles with him. Bruno made a point that Bruno practically shouted at Donny for an hour during that Cha Cha rehearsal and Donny never lost his temper or struck up an attitude. Bruno was honored to be in the presence of such a well mannered and legendary professional.

Aubrey Says: I knew Donny could do the “rasamatazz”. Then I saw him pull off those Latin dances and I was blown into another dimension. I knew “Donny Osmond: Teen Idol”.
I was familiar with “Donny Osmond: Television Star”. And then he went on to become “Donny Osmond: Entertainer Extraordinaire”. Thanks to DWTS I have been introduced to “Donny Osmond: Sexy Hips Guy”. It’s equivalent to when Homer Simpson caught a glimpse of Ned Flanders in that body-hugging ski suit. Donny Osmond has always exuded this wholesome image and DWTS added a whole new image for me.

Now, I respect that Donny didn’t have formal ballroom training prior to DWTS. Even though he’s danced before I’m gonna assume that The Samba, The Rhumba and The Quickstep were brand new worlds for him to conquer. He’s done well and I think Kym was the perfect partner for him because of her bubbly spirit and openness to include humor in her routines. I enjoyed watching Donny, yes, even when he transformed into “Donny Darko”. Not so much when he dipped Bruno in that faux make-out gag. That was kinda creepy and I will be somewhat traumatized by that until my dying day. Overall, Donny Osmond was pretty cool.

Mya & Dmitry Chaplin – Of course it just happened to work out that the judge that gave Mya & Dmitry the hardest time during DWTS was the one to coach them on the Paso Doble. And there was Len Goodman showing the duo the secrets to a strong Paso Doble. Strutting to Queen’s “We Will Rock You” Mya & Dmitry truly did deliver a pulse-pounding Paso Doble with amazing outfits to match. They scored yet another perfect score for the season.

The Megamix was a breeze. They got the top score in that as well. Mya looked like one of the female pros, as usual.

Now here’s where it gets bizarre. Mya & Dmitry did a freestyle based on the musical version of “Hairspray”. It was full of happiness and pep and fancy footwork but it was so, well, bland. The duo finally got the chance to go all out and it seemed like they only let the cat half-way out of the bag. Weird.

The Judges Say: Paso Doble was awesome. They were the brightest spots in the Megamix. But the Freestyle was a bummer. It was cute but they have done things that were so much more dynamic and risky in the past. Otherwise, they still love Mya. Yes, even Len.

Aubrey Says: The Freestyle was strange. Was it a moment of reverse psychology? When they were told to dance by the book they broke the rules so when they were told they could break the rules they stuck to the book. Everything else was peachy. I especially loved their Paso Doble. It looked and sounded tremendous. I agree with Len that Mya & Dmitry’s Paso Doble was one of the best of this season and possibly one of the best of the entire DWTS series.

At first I wasn’t so thrilled about Mya. Everybody knew she had a dance background. Catch her old music videos online and you’ll see her doing stuff inspired by tap, ballet and hip hop moves. Like Donny, I had to put her into that category where she could dance but never had proper ballroom training. So, yes, Mya took like a duck to water except she had to get used to the temperature, depth and motion of the ballroom pond. And it didn’t take her very long to find her footing, did it?

I liked that Mya took risks. I liked the theatricality of their Viennese Waltz and Jitterbug. She definitely shined in the Latin dances since she had no inhibitions when it came to shaking her rump and looking sexy. Now that I think about it, I guess Mya had to work twice as hard because expectations for her were so high. Its one thing to be like Kathy Ireland or Macy Gray with little or no formal dance training so their given a lot more slack than someone who is known for being a talented dancer from the get-go. In that case, Mya didn’t let the pressure get to her and did some quality work on the show.

Though, I’m sure she’s kicking herself for letting Dmitry talk her into that sappy Freestyle dance.

This time I only voted for one couple and I chose………(drum roll)……..(pro dancer tribute to MC Hammer)……..(bonus group dance)……Kelly Osbourne & Louis van Amstel.

I simply believe that though Kelly wasn’t as flawless as Donny or Mya I think she had a tougher time since she didn’t have formal dance training like the other two finalists. She truly did start from scratch and struggled to become the dancer that performed that amazing Argentine Tango. I still believe that DWTS is about taking stars who never really danced at all and seeing who commits the most and improves the most by Finals time. I think Kelly did just that.

Though Kelly was my choice I’m gonna have a little fun and predict that Donny Osmond will take home the mirrorball because of his legacy. The man has an incredibly strong fanbase and his Finals dances were evenly excellent. While Mya and Kelly had one weak dance for the evening Donny seemed to have three solid final dances so that might also bolster his luck.

The final results show of the season will bring back all the Season 9 contestants plus the usual familiar faces from seasons past scattered throughout the audience. Jerry Rice and Michael Irvin will go head to head in a dance battle (?). Aside from the announcement of the Season 9 winner the other most thrilling moment will be a live performance by recovering diva, Whitney Houston.

And then I’ll be able to reclaim my Monday nights. Yay!

DWTS Season 9 Stars And Pro Partners, Episode 10

Mya & Dmitry Chaplin
Kelly Osbourne & Louis van Amstel
Donny Osmond & Kym Johnson