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The Top Ten Upcoming Features in the Marvel Universe
Leva Cygnet
By Leva Cygnet
Published on 08/31/2009
Because you know that Disney's brand of magic will be such a fantastic addition to the Marvel universe ...

Disney bought WHAT?
10) Disney Princess Storm
-- Credit to Maia C, who wants to see some artwork.

9) X-Men Babies! A perpetually frazzled Professor Xavier must deal with the rambunctious tots.

8) Wolverine, The Musical. Because you always wanted to hear him sing a duet with Sabretooth .

7) Punisher, the G-rated version.

6) Cyclops, the coming-of-age story. With singing, dancing Nightcrawler as his sidekick. Because, you know, gypsies are required to dance in Disney movies.

5) Incredible Hulk: The Ride, coming to a Disneyworld near you!

4) All Marvels heroines must have an evil stepmother.

3) Politically correct Tony Stark.

2) No more DC/Marvel crossovers (until Disney buys DC).

1) All Marvel villains must die by falling off buildings, after foiling rescue attempts by heroic Marvel heroes who wish to save them. This rule will hold true even for those villains which can fly or survive a hundred story splat.