In this week’s episode of “The Simpsons”, Homer breaks Lisa’s heart.  Again.  Let’s see if he can mend it.

Kredit Kookies: Chalkboard Gag: None.  Couch Gag: The Simpsons are coated from above with a shower of volcanic ash, a reference to the eruption of Mount Vesuvius. 

We open at the sidewalk outside the Casa De Simpson.  Lisa and Bart hawk lemonade to an uninterested public (“Buy a cup or I’ll punch my sister!”) from their curbside lemonade stand.  Business is slow until Bart decides to spice things up a tad – then they’re lost in a flurry of begging customers (Brandine and Cletus ask for sixteen cups, but Brandine requests a seventeenth – she’s pregnant again).

Homer arrives home with Santa’s Little Helper, whom he’s just finished walking.  He spies Lisa and Bart’s stand, pushes his way to the front of the line, and demands ten cups.  Homer’s money is, however, not any good with his own children – after bragging to the assembled that he’s headed to Moe’s to drink a beer, he discovers his car’s out of gas and is eventually forced to borrow Lisa’s bike.

After an uncomfortable ride, Homer does indeed get his beer at Moe’s.  At the collective center of attention are Missus Krabappel and Principal Skinner – she’s trying to break up with him again (again?!).  Sauntering to the bar, she offers the first patron willing to break up with Skinner for her a free beer.  Naturally, Homer takes the task, using his own “lousy” life as a married father of three as a prime example to prove to Skinner that his own life as a perpetual mamma’s boy is preferable.  Skinner feels better after the break-up than he did before, leading an impressed Lenny to ask Homer to break up with his own girlfriend for him.  Homer manages this feat by informing Lenny’s girlfriend that Lenny’s died (?!).

 

At Lisa and Bart’s thriving lemonade stand, demand is high and supplies are low – Maggie, making instant lemonade with her feet in a wading pool nearby, has reinforcements at the ready.  Abruptly, the Blue-Haired Lawyer arrives and shuts the stand down, as Bart and Lisa didn’t have the foresight to obtain an operating license.  Bart’s bribes don’t work, and after the stand is destroyed, Lisa goes alone to get a permit from the town.

She’s stuck several people deep in an endless line which services all permits for the town of Springfield.  Unfortunately, the clerk in charge – fascinated with his crossword puzzle – holds up the line.  An outraged Lisa cuts to the head, grabs the puzzle out of his hands and promptly solves it in record time.  What’s a four-letter word for hero, Apu asks?  Lisa! Responds the crowd.

 

That evening, Homer receives a call from Grady, his roommate from “Three Gays In a Condo.”  It seems Julio has shacked up with (a) Duffman, and he wants to break up with him.  “Marge,” Homer informs his wife, “I’m going to a hardcore gay club, and I won’t be back ‘til three am!” 

 

Meanwhile, Bart finds Lisa in her room, maniacally solving crossword puzzles under her covers past bedtime.  She’s become so wildly obsessed with getting better at working them that she translates everything Bart says to her into an answer in the many puzzle books lying open on her bed.

 

At the aforementioned hardcore gay club, Homer tells Julio that Grady will always reserve a special place in his heart (or the heart –shaped tattoo on a patron’s back).  Homer promptly helps everyone else in the club break up with their current partner by encouraging them to simply trade off, dancing with the person to their left.

 

The following morning, Lisa enthusiastically announces to Marge that she’s become a crossword puzzle devotee.  After explaining that her new devotion isn’t a religion of some type, she explains to Marge that the New York Times crossword puzzle is the premier source for all things crossword.  After expounding upon the intelligence of Will Shortz, Grandpa sighs, “A will and shorts – two things you’re not allowed to change by yourself anymore...”

 

On her way to school that day, Lisa sees absolutely everything in the universe as one interconnected crossword puzzle.  “It’s beautiful,” she sighs to Otto – who Bart points out isn’t driving the bus.  Uh-oh.

 

Meanwhile, Homer’s made a business of his ability to break up couples – in musical montage form, we watch him summarily break up Missus Hoover and her boyfriend and Snake and Gloria (!!). 

 

At school the next day, Lisa’s turned the hopscotch course into a crossword puzzle.  Superintendent Chalmers doesn’t scold Lisa for this transgression; instead, he tells her about Springfield’s annual crossword puzzle tournament. 

 

In bed that evening, Marge asks the obvious of Homer –   what if there existed someone who could break up the two of them every time she has doubts about him?  This makes him think – really think – for hours, until he falls asleep and has a nightmare in which the green-tinged ghosts of the lovers he’s helped jilt, the unborn babies the couples would have brought into the world, and the antiques the couples would have bought together.  “Babies and chairs,” Ghost!Julio shouts, “get him!”  Homer wakes up screaming and vows to put an end to his break-up business.

 

The following day, Homer takes Lisa to the crossword tourney.  He discovers a backroom betting parlor, where he puts all of his money on Lisa and is rewarded as she climbs up the rankings. 

 

During a break in the action, Lisa informs Homer that she’s surprised by her progress, and is often stopped from achieving full success by a nagging little voice in the back of her head that tells her she doesn’t deserve it (?!).

  Homer takes this confession into account and promptly bets the farm against Lisa in the finals.

 

And Lisa does indeed lose, but not due to any choking on her part – she’s mercilessly scammed by Gill, who uses a sob story and a diversionary tactic to take the top prize.  Lisa is devastated – Homer is elated.  “Here’s your money – drenched in your daughter’s tears,” snarks the bartender.

 

The following morning, Bart and Lisa notice that Homer’s gussied himself up a bit – he’s got fancy metal-tipped shoelaces and has highlighted his hair.  The big tip-off is his re-balled and straightened car antenna.  Homer promptly confesses his transgression to Lisa, who becomes eerily, oddly calm and quiet.

 

Homer knows he’s done something unforgivable – he tries desperately to get Lisa to break out of her self-imposed numbness, and when she finally does she announces that not only is he no longer her father, she’s changing her last name to Bouvier. 

 

At Moe’s, Lenny and Carl advise Homer to try to get Lisa to forgive him.  He finds comfort in their suggestions, and heads off to try something kind and inventive.

 

At home, Marge tries to talk Lisa out of taking her maiden name.  The kids in high school called her booby-er, after all.  But Lisa’s determined, referring to the class of Jacqueline Kennedy (Marge thought her maiden name was Jackie O).  Marge suggests she try to get over the pain of Homer’s betrayl by working a crossword puzzle – Lisa, admittedly, cannot resist that temptation and heads upstairs to complete it.

 

As she works out the answer, she reads in the completed puzzle what she thinks might be a message from her father “Dumb dad sorry for his bet”.  Curiosity overwhelms her, and she goes downstairs and asks Homer if it’s his doing. 

 

It is – and he’s brought along both Will Shortz and fellow puzzle creator Merl Reagle to meet her.  It turns out Homer’s also left an extended message for Lisa within the puzzle, in which he informs her he cherishes her.  To the tune of that Association tune, we watch Homer and Lisa make up.

 

Red Dress Press: How wonderful to see an episode of this show – which so long ago abandoned seriousness and sentiment for quick cut-away gags and Homer abuse – returning to its more serious, thoughtful roots. 

 

I found it a tad strange that Lisa would characterized as choking under pressure.  We’ve watched her grandstand for her beliefs so often, and win everything from essay contests to spelling bees without a single backward glance.  Yet it’s her childlike innocence shines through, and when Homer wounds it in his blundering selfishness, her pain is illustrated originally.

 

Homer is marginally jerkassy here – betting against Lisa, running a business that destroys the relationships of others – but he at least has his reasons.  It’s not about maliciousness – just money.  It’s sort of disquieting but not uncharacteristic that Homer blows all of his winnings on frivolities for himself.

 

Some interesting continuity issues have popped up here.  Principal Skinner and Missus Krabappel, after flirting back and forth in recent seasons, are portrayed as breaking up (when they never did officially get back together in the first place); a new member of the Spuckler clan is apparently about to make an appearance, and Snake and Gloria – last seen as a happy couple expecting a child- break up.  We’ll see if any of this continuity carries over in further episodes.

 

Moreso than any other episode this season, “Homer and Lisa Exchange Cross Words” contains several moments of surprisingly thought-provoking emotion – Homer’s blank-eyed stare at the notion of someone coming between he and Marge whenever they have a crises, Lisa’s deadly quiet reaction to Homer’s betrayal, and his heartwarming way of making it up to her.  There were even jokes that seemed to feel vintage-era, such as  Lisa’s bus trip, and Moe taking Lisa’s name.

 

The last third of the episode could, however, have been improved by the removal of the Reagle and Shortz cameos to the crossword competition.  Placed as they were, they felt more like an afterthought.  I also yearned for closure on Homer’s break-up service (the door seemed to be open for him to try to play cupid for the broken-up couples).

 

The best clue given out during the course of the episode:  a seven-letter word, bartenders serve them: dirty (blank).  Moe suggests Ham Sandwiches, but Lisa knows it’s a martini.

 

Did It Fail At Masonry?: An excellent, thought-provoking episode.  Catch it if you can.

 

What The Screwballs Think: The episode pulled a surprisingly low 8.5, tying Family Guy as Fox’s highest-rated offering of the night.

 

Springfield Shopper: The next new episode of The Simpsons, “Mypods and Boomsticks” will air on November thirtieth.  Check back on December first for a full recap!