Brian Jr. ran away to New York to force both his parents into spending time with him.
Letitia’s on trial for the murder of Nick’s dad.
Jeremy’s boning the district attorney (Lucy Liu).
Patrick’s running for mayor.
Nick and Lisa go to therapy and start spending “special time” together. Special time involves food and conversation, not sex.
Letitia wants out of house arrest to attend Patrick’s election party. Jeremy sweet talks (and other unspeakable acts) his DA girlfriend into getting a judge’s approval which draws Nick’s suspicion. He discovers their illicit affair!
Simon dumps Karen in a hissy fit and she wants Nick to fix it (cuz Nick fixes everything in this family.) Simon confides his evil plan to Nick: to marry Karen so he can acquire majority share in Darling enterprises. Confiding in Nick is part of Simon’s extra evil plan to drive a wedge between the childhood sweethearts.
The brother of Ellen (Patrick’s deceased wife) is convinced Patrick killed her and threatens to go public. The family offers to pay him off, and reluctantly accepts to support his family, but not before shaming Nick for following in the Darling ways.
Patrick wants to go public, too…with his relationship with transvestite Carmelita, but Tripp intervenes, convincing the beauty that it will draw suspicion on Ellen’s death. Carmelita leaves Patrick citing her inability to be part of a massive lie. Patrick goes on to win the election for mayor but has decided to take his father’s ruthless edge all the way to city hall.
Lisa fails to procure a lease for her art gallery until Jeremy Darling encourages her to name drop and take advantage of the very family she criticizes her husband for serving. Nick’s totally against the idea since he’s still in a tizzy over Jeremy and Lisa sucking face. Lisa secretly partners with Jeremy anyway and outright lies to her husband about it.
Brian Jr goes missing! Does it bring his parents closer? No, this is Brian after all. But they agree to work out a joint custody deal.
Moment of Whaaa?
Tripp drops of a heart attack. But no worries. He’ll live.
Best Random Dialogue
Lisa: The Darlings are helpless babies living in a golden playpen and Nick’s their nanny.
Simon: Don’t forget to vote!
Patrick (looking at his unconscious father who has just had a heart attack): Look at him, like Freddy Krueger, just waiting for a chance to kill him again.