Bruce Campbell, the Pang Brothers in J-horror mode, Tapert and Raimi presenting a creepy teacher from outer space via Denmark, Dario Argento losing his way, vampires in the Wild West and in Oz, a genetically-engineered monster-soldier, post-apocalyptic bio-zombies, killer barracuda, and an Italian version of The Exorcist—if DVD releases comprise all of these items in a span of just a few short weeks, Halloween must be right around the corner. And yes, I subjected myself to every single one of these titles so you wouldn’t have to…

…actually, I didn’t exactly have to either. However, despite my senses being thoroughly deranged at this point, I’m happy to report the following results to guide you in making your rental and purchase decisions this Halloween season.

Dance of the Dead. The most sheer fun you’ll have with horror this year. No, Dance of the Dead doesn’t try to break new ground in zombie-land (a la FIDO), but if you want to relive the giddiest and most unexpectedly life-affirming moments of something like SHAUN OF THE DEAD, look no further. Dance of the Dead’s dark humor and energy is on par with PLANET TERROR, its inventive action and gore outshine DIARY OF THE DEAD, and in terms of generating feel-good horror nostalgia, it’s easily deserving of the accolades that have been heaped on JACK BROOKS, MONSTER SLAYER. With a screenplay hatched in the late ‘90s, when BUFFY was at its creative peak, the movie’s premise should probably come as no surprise: a small town suffers a zombie outbreak on prom night, and the only ones who can save the day are the misfits who aren’t attending the dance. At first I was prepared to suffer through lots of forced cuteness, lame sex jokes, and uninspired action sequences—but none of that ever showed up.

Instead, director Greg Bishop keeps his eye on the ball, so that each scene seems to end with a punch or punchline that both really clicks and keeps the movie barreling ahead. For its part, Joe Ballarini’s script makes use of well-worn character-types from high school (the cheerleader, the geek, the rocker) but somehow presents them in fresh ways. His work is complemented by the expert casting, which results in entertaining turns by a long list of talent: Randy McDowell, who insists that he outranks the VP of the student body because, after all, he’s prez of the “sci-fi club”; Blair Redford, whose rocking-out stuns the zombies at three instant-classic moments in the movie; Justin Welborn, from THE SIGNAL, who single-handedly transforms the dumb bully role into a compelling action-hero; and Carissa Capobianco as the aforementioned cheerleader who's forced to use her tumbling skills to avoid the mobs of the undead.

(Jared Kusnittz ("Jimmy," left) and Greyson Chadwick ("Lindsey," right) star in Lionsgate Home Entertainment's Dance of the Dead.)

When Dance of the Dead was over, I immediately wanted more: sequels, a cable series, comics, something. Needless to day, it’s the kind of movie that makes you want to devour the DVD extras in order to extend the viewing pleasure. And this happens to be an area in which Ghost House Underground (the new eight-film series curated by Rob Tapert and Sam Raimi) does not skimp. On this DVD there’s a great featurette which for once is really about the “making of” the film in the broadest and most satisfying sense: it charts the ten-year journey of Dance from concept to premiere at SXSW. Then there’s a separate bonus segment featuring all the typical how-to info on the stunts and effects work. Finally, as if this weren’t enough, we’re treated to Bishop’s short film Voodoo, which packs an impressive amount of physical comedy into its five minutes of horror. October 14

 

Dead Space: Downfall. Who would have guessed that the year’s most splattery splatter flick would be animated? And make no make mistake, this is the real deal in terms of outlandish blood-letting: gouts of the stuff are constantly leaping up from the bottom of the frame like the insides of a jelly donut tossed from a rooftop. And the accompanying aural effects are so good that if you just listen to the soundtrack you’ll still feel like you need a rubber suit to keep dry. Billed as a prequel that provides “critical backstory” for gamers and comics readers already familiar with the DEAD SPACE saga, this SF-horror hybrid would be better off marketed simply as a wall-to-wall action-gorefest—minus any of the humor or wit present in something like DANCE OF THE DEAD. After all, it’s not as if the plot is that rich in complexity or there are so many characters that come out of the far end of the story alive and ready to appear in future DEAD SPACE iterations. The thin plot and hardly original premise are certainly worthy of a videogame, and if you expect no more than that, you may really enjoy this briskly paced creatures-in-space combat outing. One line synopsis: mining colony comes across ancient monolith-like “artifact” of a vanished civilization, decides to retrieve/study it, and soon afterward a mysterious contagion spreads that turns people into monsters who want to disembowel everyone who’s not a monster. Sound familiar? The focus on military-vs.-monster mayhem is heavily reminiscent of other game-to-movie titles such as DOOM and RESIDENT EVIL, although adding a pseudo-religious sub-theme helps differentiate Dead Space: Downfall a tad. Writers Jimmy Palmiotti and Justin Gray do a decent job of machine-gunning hardboiled dialogue at us and of constantly coming up with newer and splashier ways to butcher the characters, but otherwise the story doesn’t aspire to much.

Director Chuck Patton actually does a strong job staging much of the action, but the clear limitations on the rendering and articulation of the animated figures undercuts his efforts severely. On the other hand, the animation really shines when it comes to the backgrounds and landscapes (the DVD extras include a stunning concept art gallery). All in all, I’m making a very cautious recommendation to existing fans of the franchise and to those who enjoy anime-style blood 'n guts in general.

Other audiences simply won’t know, about half-way through this, why they’re not watching one of the STARSHIP TROOPERS flicks instead, and I’m not sure I can reassure them on this count. October 28.

Barracuda/Island Fury. The entertaining concession ads and sleaze trailers with which Dark Sky opens this “Drive-in Double Feature” may not have much to do with horror, but they certainly evoke the kind of venues that would have shown Barracuda (1978) and Island Fury (1983) back in the day. Ironically, the “distressed” film stock of these campy extras provides a stark disconnect with the pristine, crystal-clear transfers that follow them: it’s as if Grampa’s Grindhouse converted to HD in the blink of an eye. As for the films themselves, Barracuda is an affable, low-wattage thriller that really bears no resemblance to the JAWS films except that swimmers get chomped in a handful of scenes. Instead, it’s a government-in-bed-with-big-business environmental warning that in many ways is ahead of its time (THE CHINA SYNDROME would not be released until the following year). Indeed, the most disturbing scenes don’t involve the title characters, which play a supporting role at best, but by paid killers. Star Wayne Crawford does a curly-haired smart-guy bit like a depressed Richard Dreyfuss and William Kerwin of the classic Herschell Gordon Lewis flicks is comforting as the local sheriff—his everyman decency is put to good use in setting up the devastating ending. The only real problem is the lackluster editing; fifteen minutes could easily have been cut from the run time, given how the co-directors have apparently never met a room that they didn’t like showing folks walk all the way across. The POV shots of the barracuda are also good for a few chuckles.

Island Fury (aka Please Don’t Eat the Babies) is a different story altogether, a movie so bad that it can be considered seriously only as excellent fodder for holding your own MST3K-style evening, which I think is what Dark Sky has in mind here. Despite some fleeting shots of nude bodies hanging in a shack, Island Fury is kind of like a PG-version of THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE, which doesn’t sound too intense or intelligent, does it? The trailers for PSYCHIC KILLER and EATEN ALIVE that precede it are actually much more engaging and, in only a few minutes, provide more legit excitement than Island Fury does in its entirety. To give you a sense of how amazingly silly this movie is, and why it should be near the top of your cheesy Halloween viewing list if you value this sort of thing, I’ll describe the first “action” scene... Two young women get noticed by some thugs while shopping for clothes in Chinatown in what seems to be L.A. The thugs then proceed to chase them with abandon in broad daylight through crowded city streets, even through a street festival featuring Aztec dancers in costume performing to a huge audience. And the young ladies simply keep running and trying to hide behind objects and people. At no point do they consider telling anyone that they’re about to be mugged (raped?), and the inescapable subtext is that they don’t do this because they’re white and the bystanders are all black, Asian, or Hispanic. In short, pop in Island Fury at a Halloween party, and be prepared to have your friends’ jaws drop while you’re asked where in the hell you found this movie. Neither exploitation nor straight-up horror, the two titles on this disc are great for a low-key evening of laughing/shouting at your TV screen when you want to take a break from more harrowing fare. September 30

The Substitute. While DANCE OF THE DEAD may be the most purely enjoyable of the Ghost House Underground titles, The Substitute is clearly the best made of the films. From the stunning cinematography and masterful editing to the lush, mournful orchestral score by Marco Beltrami (HELLBOY, RED EYE), with its strains of both John Williams and John Corgliano, the quality of this science-fiction-rooted thriller took me completely by surprise. It’s certainly no slouch in the fun department either, with director Ole Bornedal gamely threading the needle in terms of kid-centered suspense flick, all-out black comedy, and extra-terrestrial terror tale. As for the story, I’m going to provide this shorthand description not to be reductive for its own sake, but because American genre audiences are apt to make these connections anyway: imagine a glossy mix of THE FACULTY and MEN IN BLACK and you won’t be too wrong. The difference is that the sensibility here is sharper and edgier than in those films, both in theme and incident, and makes them seem more pedestrian in comparison. And by making the main characters sixth graders, The Substitute is able to tap into childhood fears effectively. My only fault with the film as a thriller is that it posits a near-omnipotent monster who’s foiled by something most Earth-native educators know when going on field trips: always run a headcount to make sure you’ve accounted for all the kids in your charge.

Still, that’s a small debit on a ledger sheet that’s otherwise solid with assets. Not the least of which is the worth-the-price-of-admission performance of the wonderfully named Paprika Steen as the even more wonderfully named title character, Ulla Harms. Every year, there’s one villain who stays with me and, apart from Heath Ledger in THE DARK KNIGHT, I’m guessing that 2008 belongs to Steen. A commanding figure in contemporary Danish film, she both anchors The Substitute and jazzes it—she’s the steak and the sizzle. Her portrayal of an alien who wants only to understand the nature of love is by turns seductive and ominous, a duality that supports the film’s underlying reliance on the Witch archetype. Imaginative and flawless visual effects round out this exemplary production. Bottom line, this is a macabre little fable that’s gripping without being too graphic or intense (apart from its profanity, which is uttered by twelve-year-olds, no less), which might make it an ideal “mixed audience” film to screen this month. My one gripe about the DVD package is that, apart from some interesting commentary by Bornedal, this release benefits from no other extras to speak of; and that’s a real shame given how much more accomplished The Substitute is than the other titles in the GHU series. October 14