"Hunk alert in the cereal department,” I whispered out of the corner of my mouth.

Sophie turned her head in the direction I’d indicated.

“Fiona, he’s following us,” she murmured. “He was in dairy when we got the cheese.”

Following us was a nice way of putting it. When I went out with Sophie, it was she who’d draw attention -- blonde, slender, and long-legged. My own, full-figured body type seemed to be out of favor with the male population.

I cast another glance at the tall, dark stranger, who was contemplating a package of oatmeal. He lifted his head, and for a brief moment our eyes met. He blushed and looked away.

Sophie pretended to study the preserves, all the while peeping at our follower. “Have you seen his hands? Adorable!”

“I’ll take myself off,” I suggested. “He’s intimidated by your having a companion. I’ll see you at check-out.”

“Don’t be silly. I’m sure he’s after you. He totally ignores me, but he keeps looking at you, when he thinks you’re not paying attention.”

It sounded so good I wanted it to be true.

“All right,” I said, “let’s find out whom he favors. You go to vegetables, I’ll be in cosmetics. That’s about as far apart as it gets in here. Then we see what happens.”

Sophie took off, leaving me with the cart. A minute later, I stood in front of the shampoos, convincing myself that the stranger was interested in me. I slipped into a daydream involving a trip to the mountains with him, my Labrador cavorting around us while we picnicked in a sunny clearing …

It didn’t take long for me to get back down to earth. Nobody was approaching me, not even the cheese sample guy. I gave my admirer another minute (which I painstakingly followed out on my watch, adding an additional thirty seconds for unforeseen circumstances), then decided to rejoin Sophie.

I pushed my cart out of canned goods and saw them walking down the centre aisle together. Why had I allowed myself to get my hopes up? I wanted to hide in the next aisle, but in my haste I tripped over my own feet. Loosing my balance, I tried to grab a hold of the cart, missed it, and pushed it into a stack of tomato cans instead. As I hit the ground, the container pyramid collapsed under the impact of my cart. It was the most humiliating moment ever: I lay prostrate on the floor, surrounded by myriad tomato cans, crimson with embarrassment. Literally everyone in the store stared at me, including the man I had mistaken for an admirer.