"Adverse Events" was certainly good entertainment, even if it never managed to be a cohesive episode. I was a little sorry to see yet another episode centered around House's motto of "everybody lies." And, to be honest, I was confused by what message this episode was supposed to convey about lying and relationships.

Okay, let's do the lie roundup for "Adverse Events."

1) The Patient of the Week lied to his girlfriend, but she was happier before she knew the truth. (Or at least Taub assumes she was--she never actually answered the question.)

2) The PotW also lied to the scientists doing clinical trials, because you're not allowed to be in three separate trials for three different drugs at the same time. Although I don't know how many people know that, so it might have been nice if the show had mentioned it specifically. The scientists are going to be annoyed to learn the truth, but it would have been worse for science if the PotW had stayed in and skewed their results.

3) Taub's wife was hiding the truth (which isn't the same as lying to me) because she wanted to surprise him. And for reasons I cannot explain, he was happier before he knew that she was buying him the car he'd always wanted. (Anyone who can explain the ending of the episode to me can have a virtual chocolate chip cookie. I just don't get it.)

4) Lucas lied to Cuddy about his interest in her. Except...that he didn't? And she lied to him in order to get to have lunch with him. Except...that she just went along with his lying. And they both ended up much happier once the truth was out, and I'd bet they had a very nice time together.

5) Taub lied to House about knowing about his wife's savings account. Which made perfect sense to me, because I wouldn't have told House the truth either.

(D'you know, I wondered why I had a pounding headache when I was done watching this episode. I think I can explain it now.)

So what have we learned about lying? Hell if I know.

All of which makes it sound like I hated this episode and that's absolutely not true. I enjoyed watching it a lot, but I didn't think it was brilliantly plotted.

Things I did like included the Lucas/Cuddy/House scenes, which were absolutely hilarious and made up for any flaws. Seriously, I could just watch the three of them double, triple, and quadruple cross each other for an entire hour and I'd be happy. I didn't expect to love the character of Lucas so much or so quickly, but I've been won over.

The scene in Cuddy's office was sheer brilliance and I almost fell off the couch laughing when I realized what Lucas and House were up to. And then Cuddy's smiles at Lucas as he worked out what was going on in the diner! I melted into a little pile of happy goo, I must say.

This episode also marked the return of many great one-liners, which are part of what I love so much about this show. For instance, how much did I love "This is Dr. House. He's pleased to meet you"? Hint: A whooooole lot. And "As romantic as you make that sound, I'm pretty sure that what you're doing is not so much caring as creepy." Yep, that's the Lisa Cuddy I know and love.

(For the record, here's what my notes say about when Lucas first meets Cuddy: "Now Lucas is perving on Cuddy, and who can blame him?" It's possible I might have a tiny crush on Cuddy.)

And my love for the cheerleader bit cannot possibly be contained by mere words. My husband and I immediately assumed--as the writers intended--the picture was a fake, and that was awesome enough. But the moment at the end when we realized it wasn't a fake...Lucas on the piano, House on the guitar, and that honest moment of "There was a girl," that was note-perfect (so to speak).

I liked a lot of small things about this episode, like the ducklings reaching for money when House was at the vending machine, Foreman's "House, that's enough," Lucas and House having a philosophical argument over science fictiony communicators, and Lucas pointing out that if Taub is too unhappy, he's going to leave.

And the solution to the medical mystery was great geeky fun for an old fantasy fan like me. A bezoar! Heh. I have no idea how medically possible it is, and I've chosen not to look it up, because it's such a nifty answer.

"Adverse Events" had a few too many things going on to be great, but it certainly was good fun. And sometimes that's all we need.