On the twentieth season premiere of the The Simpsons, “Sex, Pies and Idiot Scrapes” , Homer experiences the joys of bounty hunting, and ultimately teams up with an unlikely partner.  

Kredit Kookies: Chalk Board Gag: None  Couch Gag: The entire clan is frozen in carbonite and taken away by Boba Fett of Star Wars fame.

We open on a sunny day in Springfield, where the entire clan de Simpson are strolling to the town’s St. Patrick’s Day celebration dressed fully in green.  Bart marvels at the bright shade of the river, which, as Mr. Burns informs them, is actually the nefarious doings of the SNPP.  Now he has to kill them – fortunately, he simply wanders away instead.

At the pier, Mayor Quimby proudly announces that this will be the first booze-free St. Patty’s Day parade in the city’s history.  The citizenry of Springfield show their displeasure, but Quimby puts the blame for his decision back on them, pointing out that they always wreck the city in their drunken post-parade revelry. 

The parade – which pays tribute to every Gaelic stereotype you can imagine – is interrupted by the Springfield’s Northern Irish population, who’re marching in their own parade in the exact same section of town.  Apparently, the town’s profuse flow of alcohol kept the rival groups from brawling at every prior St. Pat’s; this time, with all parties completely sober, the factions’ nearly-identical leprechauns are ready to come to blows.  

Lisa quickly intervenes with a spirited rendition of the traditional ballad Tura Lura Lural. The rivals, collectively, weep and embrace – until the Leprechauns begin socking each other.  A city-wide riot follows, featuring The Thing and the Incredible Hulk going tooth-and-nail and Maggie and Gerald throwing down like there’s a Roofie record in it for the winner.  

“Such a pleasant Saint Patrick’s Day til the Irish showed up,” sighs Marge, who’s watching the entire situation unfold from the sidelines.  She’s tackled by a group of hungry children, who steal her picnic basket and begin munching on the goodies inside.  Momentarily stricken helpless, she’s saved by Patrick Flannery, who scolds the children into leaving her be.  Marge offers him a cupcake in gratitude and, after he eats it, Patrick immediately offers her a job at his bakery.  She considers this, imagines the effect it might have on her current life (read: none) and takes his offer.  She shouts to Homer that she’s going to be a baker; Homer’s in the middle of being arrested, but he’s thrilled.

At the Springfield Courthouse, the detainees are being arraigned.  Hulk requests a change of venue, which is approved, bumping Homer to the front of the pack.  He’s put on a high bond, and follows the advice of his judge and seeks out a bail bondsman. 

While visiting the bond office, Homer announces that he’s been fired for being arrested.  His bondsman, Lucky Jim, agrees to secure Homer’s release from prison and reads out the requirements of his release.  What’ll happen if Homer jumps bond?  He’ll have to deal with Wolf The Bounty Hunter, who both intimidates and impresses Homer into wishing for his own license.  Inspired by Homer’s admiration, Wolf promptly deputizes him into the brotherhood. 

Homer’s first sting involves him pretending to sell condos on a street corner, announcing very loudly that former felons are welcome.  This attracts the attention of Snake and Gloria, who happen to be driving by; they hop out of their car and approach Homer, who tries to take down Snake.  Homer corners the former jailbird in an alleyway, where Snake pulls out a pistol and fires a shot as we cut to commercial.

A slo-mo shot of the bullet travelling toward Homer’s screaming head greets us as we return from commercial.  He’s miraculously saved when a sheet of glass drops into the bullet’s path – the bullet refracts off of the pane and lodges itself in Snake’s arm.   Homer’s rescuer?  Ned Flanders, who happened to be passing by, the glass meant to replace the panes the Saint Patty’s Day rioters shattered in the Leftorium’ storefront.  Ned lectures Snake about his choices: “What would your mother say?” he scolds.  “That the year I took off from Princeton was the worst decision I ever made,” sighs Snake.  Homer then decides to ‘teach Snake a lesson’ by smothering him to unconsciousness with a plastic bag (?!).  
 

At the Leftorium, Ned happily fixes his window.  Homer pops up, offering him half of the money he earned in Snake’s capture.  He explains that Ned’s quick thinking caused him to realize they’d made a great team, and Homer charms Ned into teaming up as a duo.  Ned agrees, on one condition: they have to do every capture by the book.  Surprisingly, Homer agrees.
 

At the bakery, Patrick praises Marge’s baking.  Marge is pleased with her job thus far, but expresses confusion about the strange shape of the cake she manufactures.  Lots of half-moons.  Patrick’s distracted when two customers enter-Patty and Selma, in search of a cake for a bachelorette party.  As they drool over pictures of Patrick’s goods (hey now), an eavesdropping Marge realizes that she’s been employed at an erotic bakery.  Marge, hon?  That basket on the counter offering up “day-old wangs” for consumption is a pretty big hint.  While Patty and Selma pick out suggestively-shaped cannoils, Marge corners Patrick and, in her disgust, tries to quit.  Patrick makes an impassioned plea about the service he gives Springfield, mentioning that many of her friends have bought cakes from them.  Patrick informs Marge that she has a gift, and, reluctantly, Marge agrees to stay.

Meanwhile, Homer and Ned have set up shop and await news of their first quarry.  Homer has laid his hands on a taser, which he uses to heat his coffee and loosen his earwax among many other not-recommended by the manufacturer things.    Homer and Ned get a fax – their first hunt?  For Sideshow Bob!

In a montage set to the 80’s hit Electric Avenue, Ned and Homer pursue several bail-jumpers.  Ned’s even-handed practicality blends excellently with Homer’s recklessness, and they end up making a pretty successful team.  

Homer returns home with the spoils of his job; shotgun shells for Bart, some still complete with bullets; meth-making equipment seized in a bust for “his little scientist” Lisa; a dozen red roses for Marge (“I counted!”).

  Marge, equally flush with cash from her job, has bought Homer a silver frame and filled it with a picture of their children (Homer announces that the picture will stay in the frame ‘for now’).  Homer declares his pride in Marge and says the bakery should make a cake for Lisa’s birthday – Marge responds by slapping Homer across the face.  He’s shocked; she explains away her action, but he makes he slap him twice more, ‘til he buys her story.

That evening, Homer and Ned conduct a stakeout, hoping to take in Fat Tony.  They bond over their love of the Christian AC/DC cover band AD/AD and Homer’s way of eating pizza.  The following morning, Fat Tony emerges, leading into a chase scene.   Fat Tony didn’t count on Homer’s “reckless indifference to human life!”  In the mêlée, Selma is knocked down; she loses her erotic cake, which sails from her arms into the open dining room window at Principal Skinner’s place.  And Superintendent Chalmers had REALLY been enjoying his meal!  Unfortunately, Agnes decides to come downstairs, and Chalmers and Skinner decide to get rid of the cake by chowing it down – each starting at one end and working their way toward the middle.  

Ned and Homer manage to corner and cuff Fat Tony; again, Homer tries to smother Tony with the bag.  Disgusted by Homer’s going off-book once more, Ned breaks off their partnership.  Homer, incensed, tries to smother himself with the bag so he won’t have to listen to Ned’s lecturing.

In their break-up, Homer is despondent, and he tries to soothe the pain with food.  Does Marge have any more of those extra-long Twinkies?  Marge is horrified; those were for “Mr. Smithers’ commitment ceremony” (!!).  Marge is finally forced to confess that the bakery’s an erotic one; she’s been hiding all of the naughty sweets in the one place Homer would never look (cue a close-up on the fridge’s vegetable bin, set to a damatic music sting).  Homer’s shocked; hiding cake is one thing, but SEXY cake?!  They make up, agreeing to split a cake in bed…and the shower…

Meanwhile, Ned is determined to get out of the bounty-hunting business.  He heads back to Lucky Jim’s and hands in his badge.  Lucky Jim is terribly disappointed – he has one more bounty for Ned to hunt - Homer!  It seems he never did make the hearing for his St. Pat’s arrest, thus breaking the terms of his bond.  Ned refuses initially, but when he’s confronted by the idea of Homer being taken in by any of the other hunters on Jim’s team he finally agrees to take him in.

Later that day, Homer arrives to find Ned waiting for him.  He deliberately arrived at the casa de Simpson on the day of Lisa’s recital, knowing Homer would skip it.  Homer declares that Ned will never catch him alive, throwing himself through the living room picture window.  

A long chase scene occurs which takes Homer and Ned all over Springfield.  It finally terminates at a construction site, where they climb an iron skeleton of a building to great heights.  They finally end up facing off on a beam suspending high over the ground.  Homer wails that he loved Ned, but Ned counters that Homer mostly hated him.  Homer scoffs that that’s only because Ned holds onto his resentments “like a Confederate widow”.  “I forgave you for accidentally killing my wife!” Ned cries.  (*Wince*  Please don’t remind us of that disaster, Ned…).  Homer lunges toward Ned, who stumbles off the edge of the beam.  He begs Homer for help, which causes Homer to flash back on all of the good times he and Ned had together; he helps him, but ultimately ends up tumbling over the edge of the beam himself.  Shrieking, he and Ned end up landing in a pool of wet cement – which sets before they can get out.   Ned spends the time reciting the entire Bible from memory – by the time Chief Wiggum arrives to put Homer away for a long, long time, Ned has gotten to the New Testament and Homer is delighted.

Cut to jail, where Homer has been sentenced to a short stay.  He receives a cake from Marge to “help get him through his sentence.”    But it’s of the erotic sort: it’s a pink and white frosted sheet cake that simply says “to the love of my life.”  We and Homer aww as the week’s episode concludes.

 

Red Dress Press: A decent if not spectacular way to open the season, “Sex, Pies and Idiot Scrapes” benefits from the recently-underused “Homer and Ned team up” plot trope.  The two of them are hilarious together here, with Ned as a surprisingly strongly-willed foil for Homer’s outrageousness.  I’m glad his infallible niceness was scotched for the more assertive side of Ned’s character.  The strongest parts of the episode featured the twosome out on the hunt and their subsequent bonding.   Too bad Homer’s hatred for Ned will probably return by the next episode.  

Marge’s subplot kept her refreshingly in-character and provided a nice moral conflict for her.  It never does come to a complete conclusion, however, and Patrick disappears mid-ep.   

On the negative side, the Saint Patrick’s Day Parade set-up was laden with cheap, easy jokes.  I’ve previously discussed my hated of the Homer-hating-his-kids-to-an-uncharacteristic-degree running joke, so I won’t repeat myself.

I’m also not going to complain about revisiting the holiday  - the set-up and results are entirely different from “Homer Versus the Eighteenth Amendment.” 

I WILL, however, complain about the leprechaun character’s continued appearance outside of a fantasy set-up.  And now he has a doppelganger!  The Hulk and The Thing showing up at least paid off in a funny joke.

And I guess Waylon Smithers is officially “out” now.  I remember when he was just “Burnsexual”…

All in all, a decent if unremarkable showing.

What The Screwballs Think:  This episode drew an overnight rating of 9.30, topping Family Guy by .10.   This obviously outdoes the season nineteen finale.  When compared to the nineteenth season premiere, however, it underperformed, scoring .14 lower.

Did It Fail At Masonry:  Both plots were solid and funny, with only a few vaguely annoying spots.  Not spectacular, but worth seeking out if you missed it.  If you like the perrenial Ned/Homer conflict, it’s worth watching.

Springfield Shopper:  The next all-new episode of The Simpsons, “Lost Verizon” airs on October fifth.  Be sure to check back on the sixth for a full recap!