"The Dark Night" ties up a lot of loose ends, but makes others fray unbecomingly. Gossip Girl is, as one might expect, completely tickled about it all. And for the first time, we get a real idea of what it would be like for she of wicked wide web fame to publicize your every move.

Sure, there've been hints, but most of Gossip Girl's scandals play out within the hollowed halls of our gang's high school. It was fun, if a complete plot device, to see the avid watchers of the Gossip blog who've never met Serena or Dan have a run in with them. Dan acted like he was being accosted by a band of very large mosquitoes. It was almost charming in a quirky sort of way.

There are moments, just a few, when I'm reminded of why I used to like Dan Humphrey, but then he goes off and acts like a complete moron and that feeling fades fast. It's sort of like the reverse of what happens with his sister. Every once in a while, I forget why I dislike Jenny so very much, and then she reminds me.

The girl couldn't be more haplessly unlucky if she tried, but never fear! She always makes everything okay by being her charming, honest self. Sure, she's not from money, but dang it! She sure has determination and talent. Look! See, they told me so. Over and over and over again. (See that, right there? That's me rolling my eyes.)

But you know what's a good cure for the Jenny Humphrey induced blues? Heck, you know what's a good cure for just about everything? Chuck freakin' Bass, my friend. Especially poor, lovesick Chuck who can't even get it up for his ladies of the night. Not to worry, thanks to the helpful advice of Serena (though she might not see it that way) he's got a plan.

In fact, there are a lot of plans afoot at Blair's back to school party. There are so many tangle and twisted triangles in one place at one time, it's almost hard to keep up with. You have Vanessa, Nate, and the Duchess, and then Lord Boring, Blair, and Chuck.

By the way, the Duchess and Nate's affair is the worst kept secret in all of Gossip town, and that's saying something. How many people are going to be let in on this? As cunning as they're trying to make the Duchess out to be, she's really not all that smart. Getting caught, paying for the boy toy, blackmailing the boy toy's ex-girlfriend. Yeah, I'm starting to doubt her ability to hold her own even against Dan Humphrey, let alone Blair Waldorf.

But enough with that, back to our regularly scheduled programming: the Chuck and Blair Show. When the lights went out in Georgia, er … I mean New York City, things started to turn in Chuck's favor. Unfortunately, he continues to underestimate his opponent, namely Blair. I though he loved her because she was just a quick and masterful at turning any situation in her favor as he is? Where's the complicated web that we know you're capable of weaving, Mr. Bass? You're not going to catch this B any other way.

Lest we forget, there is the matter of Dan and Serena working out their problems in a stalled elevator. Dan continues to pull the same stupid stuff he always does because he can't get over the level of privilege in Serena's life. But I think someone needs to remind Dan that he's not exactly living in a van down by the river (thank you, Chris Farley), and his criticism of Serena's life sounds more like bitter jealousy than righteous indignation.

Thankfully, when the power came back, their relationship made a long overdue exit. Now, let's see if we can't shake things up next week.