I think someone in the Top Model writers room is deeply confused.  Three episodes ago, we were treated to a futuristic skit where Tyrabot and the Jays promised to make girls into technologically perfect models.  Yet, the print ads for this cycle is all about 1960's, feelin' the love, and flower children.  Then this episode, instead of Tyra leading her lemmings into the hair stylist's seat, we were treated to a Renn faire reenactment of Snow White.  Oh, Tyra.  Continue to be this whacky and when you finish this show, you can get a job working at Disneyworld.

Continuing with the Snow White trope, all the mirrors at the Salon were covered.  I can only assume this was so that the girls could inform each other who was the prettiest of them all.  Tyra's talking head appeared in a mirror in the bottom of the screen to tell the audience what everyone was supposed to look like.  

This is where the Snow White thing really began to fall apart for me, since the mirror in that fable was all about telling the truth, even when it made people mad.  So, the fact that none of the girls were allowed to know what was happening to them didn't quite gel.  Not to mention, Tyra was supposed to be the "fierce Witch" and the witch in Snow White was trying to be prettier than Snow White... and, yeah, it falls apart.

Not knowing what they were going to look like also resulted in less tears, since no one could see what was happening as it happened.

Since the makeover episode was inevitably awesome, I made a score card so we could tell when Tyra's ego won out over her good taste.

Marjorie:

And they are still playing accordion music when she appears on screen.  Because she's French! Only not really.  Her awesomely blonde pixie haircut was dyed a warm brown color, which I wasn't really in favor of until her photo shoot.  Then I saw the light, because the new color does make her eyes really pop.

Point to Tyra!

Tyra: 1, Her Ego: 0

Joslyn:

Joslyn totally got gypped.  She got extensions that supposedly added some wave to her hair, but she looked more like a 1980's ad for crimping after her makeover.

Tyra: 1, Her Ego: 1

Samantha:

Samantha got a really cute little haircut, and it looks like they made her a lot more platinum blonde.  It fits her features better – the length emphasizes her cheekbones, although I might have taken it a little shorter.  If I, like Tyra, ruled the world.  The only drama was that she thought her boyfriend wouldn't like it, to which the makeup artist, Sutan, rightfully said, "If he doesn't like it, then get a new boyfriend." Sutan wins a point here for sheer awesome.

Tyra: 2, Her Ego: 1, Sutan: 1

Hannah:

Hannah got a ... well, Tyra referred to is as a "chop-chop," so let's go with that.  It looks bland.  When it's straight it looks retro in an un-cool way because the bangs are so straight.  At the same time, I was surprised at how restrained Tyra was.  Wavy the cut looks 100% better. Yay for photo shoot stylists.  I'll give Tyra half a point for restraint.

Tyra: 2.5, Her Ego: 1

Clark:

Clark didn't cry.  I kind of expected her to, because I thought they were going to go short, but they didn't and she didn't.  They gave her really dark hair.  I wouldn't exactly call it black, it looked a little warmer than black, and it definitely fits her better.  Point to Tyra.

Tyra: 3.5, Her Ego: 1

Lauren Brie:

She of the Awesome Photos got to go blonder, and had her hair cut to frame her face better.  It was... um.  Boring.  Really boring.  And they didn't quite bleach out all the sandy from her sandy blonde.  I call Lauren Brie no point.

Tyra: 3.5, Her Ego: 1

Sheena:

Since, as Tyra informs us, "There Can Be Only One Kimora," I expected Kimora to randomly appear in the salon, throw down a gauntlet and pull out her broadsword.  Only, no wait! Tyra will save Sheena by giving her highlights!  Apparently, no one bothered to tell Tyra that if you're trying to make someone look less "hootchie" you probably don't want to give them highlights.  If Sheena had walked in with highlights, everyone would have called her a "mall girl" and "catalog".  Point to Tyra's Ego.

Tyra: 3.5, Her Ego: 2

Analeigh:

I like the blonde and the layers.  I didn't at first, because it gives her a little bit of a weird skin color, but it definitely won me over and the shape is much cuter.

Tyra: 4.5, Her Ego: 2

Elina:

Words fail me.  Elina got a red curly weave.  Like her, I was horrified.  Unlike her, I don't have to be political about it.  This is the point where Tyra's Ego gets 5 billion points.  Why 5 billion points? Primarily, because it's such a weird idea.  Secondly, because the only reason it works at all is because Elina is drop dead gorgeous.  Lastly because Tyra later refers to the weave as making Elina look "racially ambiguous."  I don't know what Elina's ethnic background is, but a girl with light skin who has red curly hair reads as white.  In fact, I'd argue that Tyra took away any racial ambiguity that Elina had by giving her red curly hair.

Since I can't actually add 5 billion points, I'll add five.

Tyra: 4.5, Her Ego: 7

McKey:

McKey is going to look gorgeous regardless of what you do to her.  Tyra knows this and gave her black short hair.  I think it's so her red hair wouldn't clash with Elina's in photo shoots.  Point to Tyra for not giving her extensions.

Tyra: 5.5, Her Ego: 7

Isis:

I've never been a fan of Isis's hair.  I love her, but her hair looked like she was growing out some bleached chunks.  Normally I'm of the, "Just say no to extensions" camp, but this is one time that a weave really worked.  I think she'll look a lot better with longer hair.

Tyra: 6.5, Her Ego: 7

Brittany:

I Brittany's initial haircut, when it was straightened.  But, when they put in curls last photo shoot, it did look a little too short.  So, Tyra gave her a weave with some curls.  It looked a lot softer than her original hair, point to Tyra.

Tyra: 7.5, Her Ego: 7

Tyra squeaks by with a .5 lead.

The rest of the episode was pretty interesting.  They shot a commercial, which was weird, because usually the commercial is a big deal; it usually gets its own episode.  To have it crammed in between the makeovers and the next photo shoot means that they have to have some really awesome challenges down the road... right?

Hannah won at being cute in the commercial, and thus won a $1,000 dollar gift card to Walmart.  Maybe now she can buy a generator for her family.  Since Walmart and Cover Girl are clearly sponsors of Top Model, I have to wonder why the judges throw down the word "catalog" with such vitriol.  It's a bit like slapping your boss in the face on payday.

Also, apparently, Nigel has a wife and an adorable kid.  The only creepy part about him now is that his wife looks like she's his sister.

The actual photo shoot for the episode was bathing suits.  Of course Isis was uncomfortable with this and I was surprised when Jay told her that neither the photographer nor the client knew she was MTF.  I was actually kind of impressed with the tact in that, since Tyra and Jay have been spilling that gossip since day one.

Brittany got the kiss of death that is Too Much Screentime this episode.  She and Analeigh were in the bottom two, and in the end they kept the girl most likely to be everyone's best friend.

Good ep, although rubberneck that I am, I wished there had been more makeover meltdowns.

Next week is their first runway!