A blended genre shake with gore, gags and a musical number! Okay, I’m just going to start with a brief synopsis. It’s 1943 and a bunch of prisoners at a POW camp are being tortured on a regular basis by Herr Schultz (Charles Esser) and his crew. The inmates decide they’ve had enough and devise a plan of escape.


 
You know how you watch a movie and are left speechless at the end? Um, that’s what "Blitzkrieg" did to me but it wasn’t in an awed way. More like a puzzled, “What the heck was all that about?” way. Now I don’t want to come across as Mr. Amateur Movie Critic Snob Guy and fill my article with venomous comments and snarky put downs.

In "Blitzkrieg"’s defense I would like to give a thumbs up to the cast and crew that worked on the movie. Many of us dream of making celluloid magic but only the boldest of us actually do it. "Blitzkrieg" is a purely independent piece much in the same vein of what Troma Studios cranks out.


Typical day at Stalag 69

History buffs might get more of a kick out of the outrageous happenings at the camp. Goretastic torture sessions will tantalize horror fans and sadists alike with all sorts of sights including an impromptu castration and bamboo-shoot finger tricks. If you love nudity, than this is the flick for you because it features plenty of naked flesh including the rare male frontal shot. Gasp! There’s even a musical number provided by a southern belle entertainer named Candace (Tammy Dalton). I kinda liked the GI Joe leader, Jack Jones, played by Edward Yankus, too. 


One Nazi down, many more to go.

I guess I could say this is like the ugly stepchild descended from “Schindler’s List” and “The Great Escape.” The performances range from so-so to stinky but, hey, it’s an exploitation film which means the pendulum swings away from the traditional teachings of Juilliard. If there were jokes I didn’t get them. I would’ve trimmed about 50% of the dialogue. On the other hand, I liked the mix of accents and that fearless Russian lieutenant Natasha (Tatyana Kott) who raised “girl power” to a new level.

This is gonna sound pretty odd but though “Blitzkrieg” did nothing for me I don’t wanna tell you not to check it out. If it’s one thing I love about cinema it’s that one man’s “Battlefield Earth” is another man’s “Gone with the Wind." If you like schlock this is 110% grade A material. If you don’t, then move on. That’s my humble advice.