Oh, it’s been a long summer.  How I missed my Bones.  I fought a duel for the television to see this premiere: you can’t doubt my dedication.

And we begin in England!  Our dear Dr. Brennan is giving a speech in Oxford University to a group of highly interested students, an extremely attractive British man stands behind her, and Booth snores in the background.  No matter how far away we go, we’re always back to the same, and I love it.

In any case, there’s a bit of a tense moment addressing the departure of Zack during the speech, and it’s clear from the later conversation between Booth and Brennan that there’s still some tension regarding that issue.  No matter, as the aforementioned British man comes to the forefront.  My attention, formerly at strict uni-Boothal, switches with the speed of an Olympic runner.  Why, hello to you too, Dr. Wexler.  No, the pleasure is all mine, really.  He seems to be more interested in Brennan than me, however, and they flirt lightly while Booth stands just out of hearing range.  Booth, my dear, it would appear you have some competition.

Dr. Wexler is Brennan’s across the pond counterpart, one of the top forensic anthropologists in England.  He takes Brennan and Booth to a crime scene involving a submerged SUV and (surprise) a skeleton.  A bit of morbid humor between Brennan and Wexler follows (Is the skeleton female or a transvestite?) and then we meet Wexler’s partner, Pritchard.  There’s an obvious parallel between B/B and these two; I’m still annoyed with Brennan’s flirting with Wexler and Booth’s with Pritchard.  No, no, no!

And that, folks, was the teaser.  Don’t you just love this show?  New credits, by the way… Very nice.  Sweets now warrants the full name, but Zack is gone.  How very depressing.

And cut to the lab!  Our squints are still stuck back in the colonies, but they’re having their own relationship issues.  Angela’s husband Grayson makes an appearance – a very good one, if Cam and Company’s reaction is any measure.  There’s a quick kiss hello between Angela and Grayson, short enough to prevent my heart attack, but long enough to not be entirely innocent. Her request for a divorce soothes my soul.  Hey, I have to root for all my couples, here.

The episode progresses with the usual– we find out a convoluted plotline involving sex, foul play, and royals.  Ok, maybe not so typical.  The difference lies in the abundance of American/British jokes – I’ll hold the image of Booth cursing out the (left lane driving) streets in my heart forever.

Brennan and Booth meeting the royals, that was a fun part. Stuffy old stereotypical folk, excepting the impassioned son and rather vocal grandmother. She’s a good sort, speaking openly and frankly to all parties. I like her.

More plot twists. I’m finding that this new season has a different kind of humor, one that I think I could grow to like. The jokes, while still there, are slightly less subtle. Speaking in unison type of thing, you know. Brennan, too, seems less obdurate, though thankfully no less intelligent. Seems she’s developed some social skills at some point.

Cut back to the squints. Hodgins is not taking to Grayson, as expected. There’s a short scene at the diner that makes me smile. We’ll call it, “In Which Hodgins Actually Throws A Punch And Gets Tossed Into A Garbage Truck”. I think it explains itself. Angela is, understandably, upset, and Cam is, understandably, impressed. Hell, the guy is starting to grow on even me.

Attractive British Man is attractive, as well as very into Brennan. He propositions her quite bluntly (No ‘like an American’ jokes, please) but she turns him down, citing Booth as an excuse. I’m not sure whether to pat her on the back for her loyalty and shriek for the rejection of such a man. No matter, I win either way.

Now, there is one lovely scene I would like to address: Booth is trying to pull out (back in?) into a parking space, while Brennan candidly discusses Wexler and his proposition. Booth, the sweet, distracted man that he is, mutters offhandedly, “There’s not a man in this country who wouldn’t want to have sex with you… He’s not special, you are.” I am dead from the sheer squeeness of it all. I revive in time to see Booth very cutely trying to cover, “Of course you’re special, now I’m trying to park!” but the damage is done. My faith is restored. So long, Wexler, I think as we head into the second half of the two-part premiere.

I must have thought too loudly. I didn’t mean it literally, guys! I would never waste that accent! But we begin with what appear to be Wexler’s remains. In a very anti-climatic scene, we’d established that ‘the butler did it’ regarding the earlier murder, but this foul play is much closer to home. Pritchard is upset, and Brennan and Bones get on the case (of course).

Back home. Grayson has, after an adorable display between Angela and Hodgins, decided to back down. Cam volunteers to drive him to the airport, but the flight is canceled. Does he return to his hotel room? Nah. Him and Cam end up in bed together.

Yes. I hope “Bzuh?” was your reaction, because it was mine as well. A tad out of character, I’d thought. Sweets gives her advice in his own backwards and yet ultimately helpful to simply tell Angela the truth, but that doesn’t end very well. Who’s surprised? Not I. Angela seems more perturbed by this news than she should be… I’m pretty sure I scowled at the television for the entirety of this scene. Bad feelings arise.

We find out that Pritchard was closer to Wexler than we’d thought: they’d had a sexual relationship. Pritchard subtly encourages Brennan to try this with Booth, which makes her A-OK in my book.

The Wexler murder is resolved – a student reveals his original intention to take a bribe, and the ensuing lapse into morality that cost his life.

Angela and Hodgins have a discussion about trust that I can feel going from Bad to Worse. It ends with them breaking up, and me pulling out my hair. Ok, writers, don’t make it too easy for us. No, really.

And so, Brennan and Booth’s excursion to the homeland is at an end. After a couple of one liners, Booth offers Brennan his arm, she takes it, and… They leave. That’s all, you ask? I say, for once, a satisfying end. Wouldn’t want to give too much away this early… Gotta keep my levels of BB-UST (Booth/Brennan Unresolved Sexual Tension) up. After all, we’ve got an entire season!