Let's have a little confab, just you and me. A tête-à-tête, if you will. Last season on Gossip Girl, there was a lot to keep track of. Acquaintances became enemies, enemies became allies, friends became lovers, and a few lovers parted ways (for good?), and all the while our not-so-friendly, neighborhood Gossip Girl gave us the dirty deets, the hot hush sounds of the Upper East Side. And like the rest of you, I was glued to my seat for every titillating text message.

We left our favorite petty, petty princesses (and a couple of toads) with more than a pea stashed under their mattresses. With Dan and Serena split, Chuck leaving Blair to fend for herself, and Nate and Vanessa no longer an item, for the first time ever, our heroes are all single and searching. I’m willing to bet it won’t be long until they find what they’re looking for. And as for the adults, well it seems like all hope is lost for my favorite parental pairing, Rufus and Lily. She’s hitched to Bart Bass, now, and it doesn’t seem like he’s willing to give Lily up to her former flame without a fight (or at the very least some real estate revenue).

Enough with the alliterations, though. Gossip Girl returns on Monday, September 1st, 8/7c, and you can rest assured it'll be back with a vengeance. Could there be more on the horizon for Dan and Serena? (Yawn.) How much sex did Chuck have over the summer? (Lots.) Can Blair out bitch the world? (Duh.) Has Nate developed a personality? (Maybe.) Does Jenny Humphrey finally get interesting? (Doubtful.) Will Vanessa continue to be cooler than everyone? (You bet your sweet ass.)

But don't take my jaded conjecture as Gossip gospel (last time, I swear). Spoilers are flying all across the web about the exact nature of season two's premiere and all the misadventures sure to be had by our loveable gang. We'll catch up with them in the Hamptons where they'll very quickly make a White Party a little less pristine. Cougars, real-life socialites, and English Lords abound, and three words, eight letters keep my favorite couple from reconciliation.

With all that excitement in the first hour of the season, makes you wonder what kind of roller coaster they've got planned for the year. Sophomore slump? As if Chuck Bass or Blair Waldorf would allow themselves to be associated with one of those! No matter what, I'll be there to regale you with witty quips and cuts along the way.

So, how about dinner next week? I'll be sure to bring the dish.