I would like to preface this review by stating that I saw the Star Wars Christmas Special in its original broadcast. I watched the Ewok movie and "Droids". I still consider "Phantom Menace" to be the worst thing ever associated with the Star Wars franchise, and that includes retconning Han shooting second. Taken in that context, the movie form of the first two episodes of "Clone Wars" didn't suck. Comparing said movie to the Genndy Tartakovsky animated masterpiece (yeah, I said "masterpiece" -- you wanna make something of it?) of the same name makes baby Hutts cry.

When a movie starts off putting me in mind of "Starship Troopers," I know it's going to be a hard sell. Running smack into an intense battle is not normally going to seal that particular deal for me, but this is one place where I thought the movie managed to shine: the battles were VERY pretty. If the fights in "A New Hope" were modeled on WWII dogfights, these were modeled on the trenches in WWI with bonus lasers and shield generators. Very intense, very visual, very gripping at least in regards to the fates of the characters we don't know for sure will make it to the next movie. (Mr. Merlin disagrees and thought everything moved too quickly to be realistic.)

Lucas has chosen a digital palette for his stories, and visually speaking, he's finally come into his own with that medium. The characters move like actual living beings, unlike a certain CGI alien I could mention from the prequels. Once I got past the jarring visual revisions for the characters, they stepped into the roles as neatly as the actors ever did. The biggest exception to this was Jabba's latest CGI self, who looked like he was part LEGO.

Let us discuss the Hutt family. We know that Lucas says Hutts are hermaphrodites, so Jabba is Stink's father and also possibly his mother. Zero is Jabba's uncle and also his aunt. It's an interesting concept and one that science fiction really should do more often in visual media because "Enemy Mine" is getting lonely. Recreating Truman Capote as a purple-tattooed giant slug is not the best way to realize that vision. I went into the film having heard about Zero, but really, there is still insufficient polar bear to cover the amount of OMGWTF involved with those scenes. Also, I never envisioned Jabba as a major power broker, more one of several gangsters that scrounged for what they tried to pass off as big scraps. Maybe the balance of power changed, maybe Lucas just wanted to use Jabba to keep viewer loyalty, much like making Chewbacca a major player in the Clone Wars.

Thought for the day: the Roger Roger robots are proof that as long as humans are trying to develop artificial intelligence, there will always be artificial stupidity. Mr. Merlin nearly threw his Junior Mints at the movie screen when the robot FORGOT the string of six numbers the other robot just said.

I kind of want to drop Ahsoka in a fire. I get why she's there: the show will need at least one character who shows up regularly who isn't a guaranteed survivor, the younger characters will give the kids (always Lucas' target audience) someone to relate to on the screen, and hey, isn't it nice to see that there are female Jedi too? She's still annoying. Shaak Ti, who was in the Clone Wars miniseries, was the same species, served much the same purpose, and kicked ass. Ahsoka is Spunky Sidekick Who Says Cool Things. Let me repeat: In. A. Fire. Related: Yoda-speak should be used sparingly. The Yoda of the prequels needs to rewatch the scenes of Yoda from "Empire," because wow, the backwards talk grates when it's done excessively.

All that aside, the chief problem I have with the movie, and the series, is that it presents Anakin in a heroic light. Not that this shouldn't be his story, but this is the same guy who, the last time we saw him on the big screen, murdered his pregnant wife and, oh yes, all the Jedi in the Temple, including the children. Butchered them. All of the prequel trilogy should have been building up and then destroying the character of Anakin Skywalker, and the audience should have been able to feel it with him as he fell, the perfect tragic hero for the modern age. What we saw did not meet the bar set by those expectations (What could? We'd been living with them for twenty years by that point.) but the important thing is that we've seen them. Before, we could have only guessed at Vader's dark past. Now we know, and right here, right now, this movie doesn't do justice to the complicated and ultimately doomed man we already know Anakin will become. Since there's more coming, there's a chance this will be rectified. Tartakovsky managed it. Lucas fumbled the last time he tried, and based on this glimpse of what's to come, he's going to miss the mark again.

If you're a fan of spectacular fights, and you don't mind out-of-place snappy dialogue, go see this one on the big screen while it's still in town. If you're here for the story and the characters, save the matinee price and wait for the television release.