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Applying for a Blogging Position? Ten Ways to Receive a "No"
- By Leva Cygnet
- Published 07/11/2008
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Leva Cygnet
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1) When applying for a position as a blogger, follow all directions. This proves you have reasonable reading comprehension skills. Reading comprehension skills are really important for a writer. If I ask for either clips or a link to your blog and you do not provide either in your application to be a writer, this looks bad.
2) Proofread your damn clips. And your e-mail. Okay, look. We all make typos. Heavens know that I do, and there's probably at least one in this rant. (Because it's a law of the universe that if you rant about typos, you will make one.) I will excuse the occasional typo. And you get bonus points if the typo makes everyone who sees it laugh, such as the writer who submitted a story about a girl who "wrapped herself around her lover like a wonton woman." However, if you cannot be bothered to capitalize the first letter of any sentence, or if your inquiry has two periods in 500 words, and contains a remarkable excess of commas, please don't bother applying.
3) Do not apply using LOLcat English in your application e-mail. It is not nearly as cute as you think it is. If I ask you to resubmit your application using proper English, and you react with offense, again in LOLcat, I may wonder if this is a practical joke or if, alternately, you are insane. In neither case will I give you a job.
4) Note the tone of the site or publication you're applying to. If, for example, there are multiple articles on the site indicating a strongly liberal bent, and the editorial staff openly writes fanfiction, and our whole focus is fandom, we may not be inclined to say "yes" if you send clips that indicate you are a religious wingnut and your Web site has anti-Harry Potter and anti-Hollywood screeds on it. Just sayin'.
5) Do not send an application that states you have no completed articles, ever, that you could show us, but you want the job anyway. Pretty please. Because you're sure you're right for us if we'd just give you a chance. I'd be happy to give you a chance, but you need to prove to me you can write, first.
6) Do not submit fiction as your clips for a non-fiction blogging application.
Fiction and non-fiction are two different skills. If you can write non-fiction, prove it by submitting nonfiction clips.
7) Do not submit someone else's work as your own. Really, now, running phrases through Google to see if they're published elsewhere on the web only takes two seconds. I have a Google Toolbar and I know how to use it. And I'm very likely to check for potential plagariasm if, after reading your clips, I note that they have wildly disparate writing styles, and one clip has UK spellings and slang and the other has American spelling and slang.
8) You got a 4.0 in college? Awesome! Now, where's the writing sample I asked for? Oh, what, you don't have one? Sorry, go write a few clips or start a blog and then reapply.
9) Obituaries are not acceptable as clips.
10) I normally like seeing a brief list of your past writing credits. However, if your writing credits include only your own Web site (which is now offline) and an self-published e-book collection of your articles ... they're not really credits. And if I ask you for samples of your writing and you tell me to buy the book, my reaction is probably not going to be the reaction you wanted.
So -- you want to be a blogger on this site? Here's what you need to do to be accepted: submit an application in clear, coherent, grammatically correct English. Include either clips of your work or a link to a blog that is related to what we cover on the site. Be sane and rational. And if you can write, and you want to cover topics that are suitable for this site, you're very likely to get a "Yes" from me.
A little secret: This site makes money from advertising. The more writers, the more viewers. The more viewers, the more money from advertising. I really do not want to say "No!" and I am more inclined to say "Yes!" to a newbie writer and work with them than I am to say "No." However, there's a point of diminishing returns when it comes to working with beginners. If you're a clueless nimwit in your application then you're likely to be even more of a clueless nimwit when working on the site, and I don't need the headaches.
Just, for love of the Ceiling Cat, do not apply as a LOLcat.
2) Proofread your damn clips. And your e-mail. Okay, look. We all make typos. Heavens know that I do, and there's probably at least one in this rant. (Because it's a law of the universe that if you rant about typos, you will make one.) I will excuse the occasional typo. And you get bonus points if the typo makes everyone who sees it laugh, such as the writer who submitted a story about a girl who "wrapped herself around her lover like a wonton woman." However, if you cannot be bothered to capitalize the first letter of any sentence, or if your inquiry has two periods in 500 words, and contains a remarkable excess of commas, please don't bother applying.
3) Do not apply using LOLcat English in your application e-mail. It is not nearly as cute as you think it is. If I ask you to resubmit your application using proper English, and you react with offense, again in LOLcat, I may wonder if this is a practical joke or if, alternately, you are insane. In neither case will I give you a job.
4) Note the tone of the site or publication you're applying to. If, for example, there are multiple articles on the site indicating a strongly liberal bent, and the editorial staff openly writes fanfiction, and our whole focus is fandom, we may not be inclined to say "yes" if you send clips that indicate you are a religious wingnut and your Web site has anti-Harry Potter and anti-Hollywood screeds on it. Just sayin'.
5) Do not send an application that states you have no completed articles, ever, that you could show us, but you want the job anyway. Pretty please. Because you're sure you're right for us if we'd just give you a chance. I'd be happy to give you a chance, but you need to prove to me you can write, first.
6) Do not submit fiction as your clips for a non-fiction blogging application.
7) Do not submit someone else's work as your own. Really, now, running phrases through Google to see if they're published elsewhere on the web only takes two seconds. I have a Google Toolbar and I know how to use it. And I'm very likely to check for potential plagariasm if, after reading your clips, I note that they have wildly disparate writing styles, and one clip has UK spellings and slang and the other has American spelling and slang.
8) You got a 4.0 in college? Awesome! Now, where's the writing sample I asked for? Oh, what, you don't have one? Sorry, go write a few clips or start a blog and then reapply.
9) Obituaries are not acceptable as clips.
10) I normally like seeing a brief list of your past writing credits. However, if your writing credits include only your own Web site (which is now offline) and an self-published e-book collection of your articles ... they're not really credits. And if I ask you for samples of your writing and you tell me to buy the book, my reaction is probably not going to be the reaction you wanted.
So -- you want to be a blogger on this site? Here's what you need to do to be accepted: submit an application in clear, coherent, grammatically correct English. Include either clips of your work or a link to a blog that is related to what we cover on the site. Be sane and rational. And if you can write, and you want to cover topics that are suitable for this site, you're very likely to get a "Yes" from me.
A little secret: This site makes money from advertising. The more writers, the more viewers. The more viewers, the more money from advertising. I really do not want to say "No!" and I am more inclined to say "Yes!" to a newbie writer and work with them than I am to say "No." However, there's a point of diminishing returns when it comes to working with beginners. If you're a clueless nimwit in your application then you're likely to be even more of a clueless nimwit when working on the site, and I don't need the headaches.
Just, for love of the Ceiling Cat, do not apply as a LOLcat.
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Comment #1 (Posted by LOLcat)
Rating:
I don't get it.