Disaster training has been en vogue among certain groups of Americans for years. Be they military enthusiasts, religious prophets, proto-survivalists (hi, Dad!), or slightly hysterical prognosticators, people trying to think their way out of situations well in advance (and sometimes Monday morning quarterbacking the actions of others caught in bad situations) have been writing books, holding seminars, passing out fliers, buying property in the mountains, and preparing quietly for the great "I Told You So" since at least the nineteenth century. And while the world has yet to come to a crashing end, they're starting to get positive press. Note the success of the Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook and its ilk. Even this column could be seen as jumping on the apocalyptic bandwagon.  Next on the zombiepocalypse fanatic's bestseller's list will probably be The Unthinkable: Who Survives When Disaster Strikes—and Why  by Amanda Ripley.

In a recent interview with Mother Jones magazine, Ripley talked about the book, and about five important steps almost anyone can take to help increase her/his chances of survival in a crisis. Ripley, an award-winning reporter for Time, began her research after her own experiences in New York on 9/11, and her subsequent interviews with survivors from Ground Zero and elsewhere.

Ripley said, "[T]here isn't any one profile of a survivor, but there are profiles. Depending on the disaster you have certain advantages and disadvantages just based on who you are. Women are more likely to survive hurricanes. In hurricanes the deaths come from floods and people driving through high water. That's much more likely to be a man who dies that way. Women are far more likely to follow orders to evacuate, especially women with children. At the same time, women were much more likely to die during the South Asian tsunami. … So much of this is based on how we develop our own survival skills before something goes wrong: Even if nothing goes wrong, it might be good to know how to swim. I did find people with military experience seem to do very well in these situations. They've been taught that they can control their destiny, which is half the battle. They also have some experience in getting out of bad situations even if just through training. They know they have to make a plan and follow it and execute it."

She strongly advised preparation and practice. "I think that most people assume that there's nothing they could do if a nuclear bomb went off in their city. And that's just not true. Most people would survive most terrorist nuclear attacks because the bombs would likely be much smaller than those we were dealing with in the Cold War. You could reduce people's fears if you gave them some useful information before things went wrong.

As she interviewed people, she noticed many patterns, the chief of which was that old Douglas Adams chestnut: don't panic. "The one thread that was most surprising and most consistent was the lack of fear that people felt at the worst moment. They felt a lot of fear in early stages, when they're just realizing what's happening. But then things really seemed to be at their peak of terror, [and] the fear went away." She added, "The more you know, the less scary any of this stuff is. And that's my hope for the book. I want to get people's attention and tell them very valuable and ultimately hopeful information, and you find out nothing is as scary as your imagination."

Ripley provided five quick tips to help boost an individual's chances of surviving, which we will examine in their proper, zombie-fleeing context:

1. Learn to text message and keep your cell phone on you at all times. Even when phone wires are jammed with "Are you okay?" calls, Ripley reports that text messages sometimes still can get through. As an addendum, become familiar with textspeak, even if you think it's a blight upon the English language. Text in plain language if/when you can, but be sure you know and can relate to everyone necessary that Mother has joined the unholy armies of the night and would like to eat your brains now, kthxbi.

2. Expect smoke. Knowing where you need to go before you get there, especially in cases of emergency exits, can save your life in many disasters. Smoke, from fires or from smokebombs dropped by the Natinal Guard to confuse the zombies, can and will blur your vision and make reading signs and finding passages much harder. Figure out well in advance of your graceful retreat where exactly you need to go, and don't wait for the alarms to be sounding to figure out which exit is closer.

3. Get to know your neighbors. It takes a village to hunt down a pocket of zombie resistance and chase it hither with torches and pitchforks. Being on good terms with the people next door gives you access to their finished basement with the Ten Forward theme and the minibar, where you can hole up, lock yourselves in, and get smashed for the week or so until the military shows up, and it also helps make sure you're not "accidentally" pegged as one of the undead. Take 'em a plate of cookies and invite them over for barbeque once in a while. You'll be glad later.

4. Practice. If you haven't gotten the spouse and kids out of bed for a proper fire drill (meet outside near the front of the house so the firefighters know you're safe), haven't discussed where you're going in case of oncoming (super)natural disaster nor packed a bag just in case, or participated in a work-sponsored zombie drill, you're asking for trouble when the threat is real. Take some time. Make it a party, an event, a tradition, something for the little ones to look forward to every couple of months. Go out for brain-shaped ice pops when you're done, secure in the knowledge that you'll know what to do when the time comes.

5. Lose weight. This may be Ripley's most controversial recommendation, as she suggests that slimmer people can move faster in emergency situations. Perhaps a better recomendation would be to get physically fit, regardless of shape or size. Regular physical activity provides higher levels of energy and ability overall, and means one will have greater stamina while walking or running for one's life. Also, I have it on good authority that zombies do not like the taste of the endorphins produced by regular exercise, so one will automatically become less of a target given a wide selection of meal options.

Ripley's advice can be summarized very simply: know what can happen, research ways to get out of it, then practice and prepare. When it comes to the undead, that's all any of us can do.