Okay, let me get this one straight, Smallville, you have a handful of episodes left both in this season and Michael Rosenbaum's tenure, and you choose to spend them mired in bad writing. And yes, Smallville, this was bad writing. The magical MacGuffin of the episode bore more a strong resemblance to a Magic 8-Ball.

No wonder the Kryptonian race died out. Maybe that's why this episode was so bad. I'm at a loss to explain it otherwise. Quest  had a promising premise, a line-up of its strongest actors, and two very talented guest stars and still failed miserably.

I'm still bitter about the guest stars. Smallville has bungled the use of strong actors before, but even for them this was a bit much. As bad as the underutilisation of Robert Picardo as Edward Teague was (and it was oh, so very bad), the disaster that was Donnelly Rhodes' appearance was even worse. For those who think of him as just the crusty Doc Cottle, allow me to explain. Donnelly Rhodes is a legend in the Canadian entertainment business. His most recent role, prior to Galactica, was the critic - and fan - acclaimed series Da Vinci's Inquest and is probably best known for a Canadian series called Danger Bay. You land a guest star of Mr. Rhodes' calibre, you don't waste him on a couple minutes of bad writing.  Even Battlestar Galactica, as troubled as its been, still manages to give him more to do than Smallville.

Well, at least the cheque will probably clear. Though, with the CW's ratings troubles, he should probably hurry.

I suppose we shouldn't be surprised. After Apocalypse, the only way left to go was down. It's how Smallville works. Start the season with a bang; finish it with a whimper. Fantastic episode one week; an absolute disaster the next. After seven years, one would hope they'd figure it out, but apparently that's expecting too much.

A common problem with this show. Actually, when it comes to writing Superman, it's a common problem for almost everyone. It would seem the whole DC universe is in dire need of a behind-the-scenes extreme makeover.

Can we start by taking away their copy of 'Kryptonite: A Thousand and One Ways to Torture Superman'? Just when you think the writers have exhausted all possible avenues of butchering poor Clark, they find a new, even more gruesome, method to try out. I'm a veteran fan of some pretty squick-inducing shows. From the X-Files to Criminal Minds, it takes a lot to make me cringe.

Smallville managed it this week. Smallville. And they even managed to do it using Kryptonite. Need to spice up a scene? Just grab some Kryptonite. It'll fix everything!

And here I thought it sucked the fun out of life. My bad.

This would be one of the problems plaguing the DC universe as a whole. It's certainly a trap that's claimed more than one DC writer in pretty much all venues.

The belief that the only way to make Superman interesting is to cripple him.

Superman, Clark, is a fascinating character.  Physically, he's one of the most powerful people on the planet, but at the same time he's one of the most vulnerable. Outnumbered six billion to two, he lives everyday on a planet that is, fundamentally, not his. He speaks languages which are not his own, wears clothes alien to him, and breathes air befouled by hundreds of pollutants while watching humanity rush toward extinction. He hears the screams of thousands of innocent people, sees untold numbers of crimes, and he still manages to find something in us worthwhile. Something worth hoping for.

Every. Day.

And the most interesting thing the writers can think of is shiny green rocks and the same tired refrain. One must wonder, with the amount of Kryptonite readily available on the series, if the whole planet of Krypton landed on Smallville.

No wonder Michael Rosenbaum is running for the hills. Did I mention the part where Allison Mack's return is a minor miracle?

If Michael is dissatisfied with the treatment of Lex (and one can't blame him), then I imagine so is Allison. It certainly seemed that way in the scene wherein Chloe counsels Clark to murder Lex. Watching it, and Allison's apparent dislike of the material, I was almost convinced she wouldn't be back. Smallville has long used characters as mouthpieces with legs, but that scene was particularly disturbing. The show isn't even trying anymore. Stopping Lex from attaining control over Clark is one thing, but murder?

I can't ever see Chloe Sullivan earnestly counseling a friend to that. Of course, not much of Quest made sense. We know from "Relic" that Jor-El meant to send Clark to the Kents because he trusted them, but not enough to save Clark from himself? The boys behind Veritas wanted to keep Clark from becoming a despot, but do so by venerating him to the level of a deity? Clark is the best person Chloe knows, but he should commit murder?

Not to mention the retcon of Genevieve Teague being on the side of the angels. I keep rolling my eyes like this and my optometrist is going to be very unhappy with me.

At least Clark remained largely himself. His reaction to Edward's Church of Kal-El spiel was exactly what I would hope for. Superman might be the most powerful man on Earth, but he still thinks of himself as a farmboy from Kansas. Alien savior? Pfft. He's the son of Jonathan and Martha Kent. The guy whose biggest dream was playing on the high school football team.

For that, Tom Welling, and not the writers, deserves the credit for that. It seems he and his character have something in common.

They both end up saving the day. Lord knows, this week we needed it.